The Empty nester

Knitting myself warm

2012-01-22T06:02:00.000-06:00

Photo taken by #1 grandson. Jeremy

I have been knitting a king size blanket since the beginning of this year. I have around 4 feet + done. This is the first time I have knitted anything other than a scarf. And the only other blanket I have ever done was a granny square I crochet for my 5th grade teacher, back when I was in 10th grade. I started this after my computer was destroyed on Dec 24th, by a virus I got while playing a game called Pioneer trail on Face book. My virus soft ware alerted and said it blocked a malicious website. Next thing I knew there were pop ups saying Vista virus scan 2012 has detected several issues on my computer. It turned out. vista virus 2012 was the virus.
My computer could no longer get on the internet. So I looked it up on Jeremy's computer. And found no real cure. Every thing I tried destroyed my computer even more. I took it to a repair shop and they had it for almost 3 weeks. And they finally had to install a new hard drive in order to reprogram it.. So I have decided no more games.
For weeks I have been thinking of what to do now. As I wasted allot of time on the game. The question what do I do with the rest of my life came up. And I ponder as if I am a teen age girl again. What does my future hold for me. I am so eclectic as you may know already from my past post. I started with the dream of a farm.and have went from gardening to art. Traveled a little ,recovered from depression. The list goes on. I really do not want to spend the rest of my life sitting around.Letting life fly by. Yet psychically I an no spring chicken. And hubby is a TV watching couch potato. So I have more thinking to do. I find we are explorers of life here on earth. Yet we play roles. wife, Mom Grandma, etc.And I have worked in the past. Owned my own business etc.
But I have never though much of what is called the golden years.
I am only 51, Yet I am in the shoes of an older person. I need to learn to dream again. As the Life as an empty nester and a grandparent is an amazing time of your life. You are no longer responsible for raising children. Yet you get the joy of grand kids when you want them.
All I can do for now is live one day at a time. Rather than, what I did when I was younger plan for the future. And I missed many now moments with worry's., I am thankful I gave up worry's. It was the best thing I ever did in this life time. Because worrying was worse than most out comes.
But I will continue asking myself whats next ?
So much for today's chit chat.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Creating a new me

2012-01-20T18:30:00.002-06:00

When do you know it is done ?


When is it complete ?	?

The answer is never. Every day and every minute you are changing in some sort of way. Like this cartoon version of me. Every day it changed. And can change more if I keep working on it, To make the decision to say it is done. Is like looking in the mirror and saying I am perfect just the way I am. And if you really look at each photo the first one in sketch is really the only one that comes close to looking like the real me. showing some of the lines of age. The more I work on it the more I make it look less like me. And more like a cartoon version.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

2012 First post

2012-01-13T22:15:00.001-06:00

Yea another year !
I have been in thought the last month or so wondering what my word for this year would be. I still have not made a choice. But the phrase "Just do it" has already been put to use a few times. And it has resulted in fun. The photo above was taken at the Funny farm it was a wonderful adventure. My granddaughter Jozlyn had her 3rd birthday party here. We all had so much fun petting the animals and I even got a pony ride on a Clydesdale. That was the event of the day. I needed a chair to reach the stirrups . Then getting off was almost a 911 event. But I told my right leg to just do it. It took 2 try's but I final made my leg come back over the horse to dismount. I know you are laughing about now. But I did it. :)
The highlight of the place was the miniature Scottish highlander steer in the photo above. He was adorable. He reminded me of a sheep dog mixed with a cow.He also had a blue tongue. This adventure made me wish I had a farm. But I also realize I am no spring chicken any more so I am thankful to be able to visit a place like this.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-23T02:28:00.000-06:00

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

I did it !

2011-12-20T18:04:00.001-06:00

Remember my post on Dec 28, 2010
I chose the word revive.
This was my word to live by for this year.
And I feel I accomplished the true meaning of the word. I am free of the depression drug Lexapro. 3 almost 4 months of zero use. Yea. I still have minor side affect of what they call brain zaps. it is a springing noise from one ear to the other. And mild vertigo when walking. I had no knowledge before trying to stop that there was side affects. There should be a big warning on all drugs . Giving people full disclosure of things like this. I still would like to know if this is permanent damage. Your body has to learn to accept your own natural serotonin. This was my biggest challenge .

I also accomplished finding myself. As in acceptance of who I am and how I perceived my life. The words choice and acceptance played a big roll in the freedom of self realization. I found when you take charge of your reality and look at it with new eyes, you can overcome most any thing.

I found freedom of the past through forgiveness. I found unconditional love is a gift. That not every one is capable or willing to participate in. So I have learned to accept this as a fact and forgive my self for thinking that they should be able to love. And I will learn to love them any way.
But I also have learned to help till the point of knowing I am wasting my time. I learned some people like to be the victim of there life's story. And enjoy others trying to help them. But they are unwilling to chose to learn to let go and learn to be happy. I have learned many life lessons this year. And I am grateful for each and every one.
I now have 10 days left to find a word for 2012.
Wow this is a challenge to top this years word.
Any suggestions ? And what will your word be ?

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Imagination

2011-12-16T05:45:00.003-06:00

This is my latest creation. It started with an abstract back ground. And I added to it to create this. The only words that come to mind is imagination.
I have been slack on words lately. But creativity has kept me busy. I am going to let the grand kids make ornaments for there parents as a project on Christmas day. We did dough art a few years ago, and they really enjoyed it. I have also knitted a scarf. I am not a knitter, so it was the only thing I could make. I normally crochet most items.
Today the weather is cold again. And I have bronchitis and ear pain. I am on antibiotics. So will be well again soon. I hope. I am off to sleep soon. So I will close for now.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Let them eat pie

2011-11-30T04:00:00.014-06:00

Pecan pudding pie

crust
1 1/2 cup. ={ 354. ml] flour
{177 ml} =1 1/2 sticks of butter
2/3 cup.= {150 ml }crushed Pecan nuts

Combine ingredients and cut together until it resembles coarse meal.
Press well into a greased 9 x 13 x 2 inch baking pan. Bake at 325 to 350 degrees for 30 minutes. It will be golden color Let Cool.

Combing 1 package cream cheese 8oz I believe

1/2 up to 3/4 cup powder sugar {59 ml to 79 ml}

1/2 container of whip cream

mix together, spread over bottom of cooled crust.

top with chocolate pudding made according to package directions, note: you can add whip cream topping to the pudding also if you wish.

Then top with whip cream and broken peaces of pecan This is very good.
...........................................................................

Banana split pie is also awesome.

make or use a gram cracker crust.

This recipe will make a 9x13 inch home made crust

or 2-3 store bought round crust.

Layer 1:

Take 1, 8 oz cream cheese blend in 1/2 container whip cream 1/4 up to 1/2 cup powder sugar. {59 ml or 79 ml}
1 stick soften butter.
add 1 egg or leave it out if u prefer

Spread in bottom of crust

Layer 2:

Drain 1 can crushed pineapple. spread a thin layer.

Sprinkle lightly with powder sugar

Layer 3

Slice bananas 1/4 inch (thinly) spread side by side over the top of the pine apple.

Layer 4:

whip cream to cover

layer 5: drop can cherry's here and there to decorate I use cherry pie filling for the cherry's.

Note:

Some people who love cherry's will like a layer of cherry's under the whip cream rather than sprinkled on top.
I give min to max amounts so u can adjust for your needs. Use the smaller amount of sugar for less sweet taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F = (175 degrees C).
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Chit chat :)

2011-11-26T22:59:00.002-06:00

Hello every one. Time for a face to face chat. Yep that me as snug as a bug in a rug. I let Jeremy take this photo the other night to post on Angela's wall. So I decided to share it with all, as now you can see the real me with out my wings. In my comfy lazy boy with my warm blankie. I miss blogging and writing. Have been playing games again on face book. But now I am tired of that. I need to find some thing else to occupy my time this winter. Do not know yet what to do. And have no plans. But I will think spring.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Time to talk

2011-11-23T04:12:00.001-06:00

It is almost turkey time for most. Our family had our day last Saturday. And it was joy filled.

I am so thankful that I am blessed with a kind loving family and amazing people like you in my life.
My grand son Jeremy was looking at my friends on here and face book and was like. "Wow, you have friends all over the world." Grammy. And I smiled and said. Yep, I am very lucky. Thanks to the internet. I have some special people in my virtual life. And know some day we will all be closer as technology advances.

I am thankful we can turn on this computer and see bits of each others world. I wish you all a happy thanks giving and send big hugs.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Who am I

2011-10-17T20:00:00.004-05:00

This is a question asked by many. Yet some never find the answer. I am a mom, G-mom, Sister, aunt, etc. You can call me an empty nester. As this defines my status of kids grown. But it is also the best time of your life. You move into the position of choice. You can now chose ,(what do I want to do with this new found freedom?) I have been feeding my self with books,art, fun, self programing. Releasing the old. Like a butterfly in a cocoon. I have been painting, drawing. Home rehabbing. The list can go on. Yet, I do not have a goal. Those days are over. I do not need to rush though my day with no time left for me. Days of getting so much done. With no time to smell the roses. Now I can just do what I want, when I want. No one to report to. Unless you count hubby as this person.

Thought!

I have always wanted to be a traveler. Tonight I planted the seed of Mount Rush more . I asked hubby, if he may want to go see it. So This may be my next great adventure.
Wish me luck. :)

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Birthday bash

2011-10-17T01:42:00.002-05:00

Saturday was and awesome night. full of sparks. Both from the flames of a bonfire and stars in the sky. Love and joy filled our hearts with joy.We celebrated the birthdays of both my oldest (Jeremy) and my Youngest Grandson (Rebel) And 1 & 12. Amazing how time fly's.

Jeremy said this was his best birthday ever. There was BBQ, And roasted marshmallows. Fire crackers and a hay ride up and down the gravel road to end the night.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Turning a new leaf

2011-10-14T03:25:00.005-05:00

I have just came to the conclusion.

I am not a witch with a bee.

I have just became brutally honest.
I will no longer be a door mat for any one.
I am still nice , loving and caring.
But no longer will I be used. degraded, or abused. By any one.
I will honestly tell you straight up with out fear.
What you may or may not want to hear.
Hay that rhymes. :)
But there is no reason to be weak out of fear.
Because if they do not respect me the way that I am.
That tells me they do not know the meaning of unconditional LOVE.
If some one can not be told the truth. Then you do not need them in your life.
It seems like we go through all kids of challenges and tests in our life time. And we have the choice to be or play the roll of the victim. Or we have the choice to dust our self off and say.
I SURVIVED. And I will not let it happen again.
Some things are simply lessons learned.
But I feel we are here to conquer our fears.
Learn to let go of what we could call baggage.

And looking back on my life, I think I can now say" I pass." I have forgiven every one including my self. And yet, I have the experience and knowledge to not fall for some things again. But I hope there are no knew challenges to overcome. Sure there will be loss of loved ones. Accidents etc. But I now accept the fact this is all apart of life. Some people have what looks like an easy path to walk. But, I know there are few people in this world that can say. I never had a problem. But there are also many people who can say there is no easy road for them. So I am happy to be one of the lucky ones to have had a balance, both what can be called good or bad. And I can now say" I am grateful now for both."

And I can not get over how free I have became.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Fall color abounds

2011-10-12T05:02:00.003-05:00

We are not in full bloom color yet. But the road sides are in the process of change. Red is still a color that has been missing for a while now. I think the ice storms in the past have taken those trees away. But the orange is amazing.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

These photos were taken on highway 63 near Columbia Missouri. My daughter Amy and I both used our cell phones to take them, She has a smart phone and the quality is way better than my phone. You can click on the photos to enlarge.

Freedom of control and judgment

2011-10-11T18:36:00.010-05:00

I have been writing a bit and saving it in my computer. I thought I would start sharing some of it here. some day I hope I have a book that will help others get to the point of freedom I have reached in my life.
I do not have the answer for every one. Only the answer to my life story.

“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha

I remember learning of the old days, times of cowboys and times of pilgrims. Our history tells us that we came to America for Freedom. In those days there was no issue of how your home looked. It was a blessing just to be able to cut down trees and build a log cabin. We did not even know about paint till one day some one decided to paint a barn. Then it caught on every one wanted a red barn. We did not all have grass or even care if the neighbor cut down there weeds. In those days weeds were medicine to some, food to others. We were rich if we had a glass window to look out of. Many kids were raised in a 1 room home. We did not start imposing excessive laws and rules on our self and others till latter on in history. The thoughts all started with some ones judgment and need to control others. And the power to control grew stronger over lime.

Now we have so many laws and rules it is unbelievable what we pay people to come up with.
We have allowed the government to tell us how to live and we pay them to do it.
We sit back and complain to deaf ears. As we feel powerless to change any thing.
We let our neighbors become victims to city inspectors.
I had one knock on my door in the mid 1990's The issue was,I had a pumpkin plant that was growing near the foundation of my home. It was planted among the flowers, yet it grew legs and started taking over the sidewalk that started from my door to my driveway. (The local beauty police. Aka Building inspector) One day knocked on my door.
She had a dumbfounded look on her face.. She looked at the plant and asked. What is this growing all over the side walk. I said a punkin plant. She seemed distressed and said you do see it is taking over your walk. I said yes.
She had no ideal what to say or do. She could do nothing about it because it was a vegetable and not a weed. And there was no law on the books that said your side walk could not be covered by a veggie plant. So, she could not give me a ticket, But if I would have had snow on my walk. She could have. There is a law that said the walk had to be shoveled in times of snow fall. At that time i felt so free. I smiled and she left. I was then allowed to let the punkin plant grow as long as it wanted. And they could not pass a new law quick enough to make me do any thing. But my plant harmed no one. It just bothered her.

The issue of rules and laws. People saying and judging others has been one of my biggest issues in this life time. I think of it as a god complex for some. You have to dress this way. Look this way. Talk this way. Or you are made to feel inferior. But the truth is. Who are they to judge and make rules for us to follow. If I want to wear a pink shirt and green pants blue shoes, yellow hat. Tan coat. Sure I look like a rain bow. But who said this was unexceptionable. I am a bit of a rebel. I use to be worried about what people said about me. But now I do not care. I dress the way I want. talk the way I want. And wish the world was free for every one to rebel and just live and let live. In peace, joy and happiness.
I now feel, If you do not like the way I dress or think. It is your loss not mine if you chose to leave me out of your circle. To me what counts in this life is how kind you are. If you care about others more than your self. If you want the best for others. To see them happy. I am judgmental when it comes to mean people. I do not see why they have to make sure some one else has a bad day. I chose to exclude people like this from my circle. As I feel the painful energy they throw out to the world. I would love it if they would learn to deprogram. But I except that they have the freedom to be the way they are. It is not my place to make them change. My mom is one who has so many rules. And she is full of judgment. But It is like the old saying you can not teach an old dog new tricks. But I have learned to accept her just the way she is. And go on with my life. I live life the way it feels right to me. And that is all that matters.

Live and let live.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Things can change

2011-10-04T03:23:00.002-05:00

I am so happy with myself now a days. I have been able to get quite a bit of work done to the house that I have not been able to do in a while. I now have The living room completely wired for cable and electric. And most of the drywall hung. So I will soon have a real living room. I am amazed to say I did it. I had help holding the top cuts of the dry wall. And took my time but to say I did it is a blessing. Sure it took 6 weeks to do what I use to do in less than one. But I did it. Time was not an issue. I only have been here 6 years. And have been in my lazy boy most of those years. But I feel free of depression and free of issues that use to cause me problems. I can now look at life with new eyes and say. " There are no problems just challenges to overcome." And it is all a choice. Chose happy or chose blaw blaw. When you put away judgements and learn to live and let live, Life is so much easier.
Wishing you all an awesome day.
Miss ya. Grammy E

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Japan

2011-08-08T16:02:00.005-05:00

After our wonderful Island adventure, we decide we are having so much fun. We will just hire tutors for the kids and adventure on to tour the world. We decide to sail to Japan, We ask Angela you want to come along. She says sure. I just need to call hubby and see if he wants to meet us there.
To her surprise he agrees. Since we are all well off from our treasure find in machu picchu. Money is not an issue.

So we set sail with our solar powered hipper drive at full speed. We reach the shore of Japan. We are astounded to find it looks like a ghost town. There is no sign of life from the Tsunami and earthquake of last march. We look closer and there is a snow monkey with her 2 kids near the shore. So we pick them up and sail down the coast. We find a set of steps going up a hill side with Buddha and thousands of other wise ones statues filling the ground of each side of the steps. We set anchor. And walk to the top. We are pleasantly greeted by An elder man his daughter and grandson sitting upon a beautifully decorated horse. He says welcome, I have been expecting you. Please follow us back to the golden palace. We have made arrangements for you to stay with us there.

We smile and say thank you sir. We walk over the hill to find a beautiful pond full of koi and a laughing Buddha with a fishing pole. We laugh with delight. Then we glance over to see the golden palace is on the side of a huge lake. We then see a man walking toward us. He has a head dress with large crescent moon shaped horns on his head. We are amazed he can keep such a heavy thing on his head. He says welcome friends. Lets go in. We have prepared a special feast for all of you.
We take off our shoes and sit on the floor. And beautiful geisha girls bring out all sorts of dishes to try. Suddenly we hear Jeremy say. Alright! Pizza and shrimp.. We all laugh. The grandfather said. We knew he would like that. So after dinner we sat by the lake talking. We then realized we forgot our bags. Mrs Ogwana said no problem we have plenty of things for you to wear. So we all dressed for bed and had a peaceful nights sleep.

We were awoke the next morning by birds singing. We dressed our self in traditional Japanese clothing. And had breakfast. We then helped the family plant rice in there rice field on the other side of the hill. Then Mr O decide it was time to show us around a bit. So we loaded up in the ox and wagon. There were fields of flowers every where you looked. Purple lavender and yellow sunflower. for miles and miles. We crossed a stone bridge and saw a bonsai tree on the side of a rock cliff. Then the most amazing waterfall it must have been 3-400 foot drop. We stopped for a swim and cooked out on a campfire. We moved on to town. There we were taken to a beautiful city full of life. We were given another palace to spend the night in. It was family to our host that took us in..

The next day we take several rickshaws to the largest Ferris wheel we have ever seen. From the top we can see the whole city. We visit many shops while the kids watch the festival parade. Around 4 pm. Angela and Amy take scooters to the airport to pick up Tim and Angela's hubby. While there they notice a sign that had all of our photos on it. All they could make out was WANTED. So we have no clue why we would be wanted in Japan. She takes a photo and brings it back to us. We ask our host to tell us what the words say. He laughs and said it was a joke. So we were re-leaved.

We all meet at a wonderful restaurant for dinner. Then spend the night watching sumo wrestlers.

The next few weeks are filled with days on end of taking in the sights. The boys took sward lessons. And practiced with the local ninjas. We stopped at Pokemon headquarters. And Jeremy was thrilled. He sat at one of there computers and started designing his own Pokemon. They were so impressed. They offered him a job. Gave him a satellite phone and laptop computer. They took us to the airport and showed us a Pokemon plane that was for us to use anytime we wanted. So no matter where we are Jeremy is available when they need him. We then were taken to the dragon festival. Where we were declared official citizens. And the Monk blessed us with happiness. And we are escorted to the Tokyo harbor where we find our ship at a privet dock. It is full of colorful decorations. And They show us a beautiful palace on the shoreline. They inform us this is our own home there. We are amazed to find every thing we need in the palace. We have our host family over for dinner. And decide when and if we will sail to our next destination
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Latest adventure

2011-08-05T03:27:00.003-05:00

Brandon wrote this virtual vacation

Hi every one. Hope you all had enough sleep and are well rested, because this is the day that you need to buy your suitcases before time runs out !

Are y' all ready ?

We are all going to take our ship the patriot stone to the best tropical deserted island, to build our fantasy theme park. I know I am said Brandon. So lets go cause day light is burning. Our bags are packed and we hear the horn of our Hummer stretch limo.We all head out the front door of our ranch house and load our bags into the boot of our hummer. Load up ourselves. Then to Grammy E's great surprise the divided window comes down and Angela says

you think y'all gonna have all the fun mate, ya got another thing coming she says. With a big smile. She flew in from Australia to be with us.

Were headed up to Columbia international Airport, where our plane is waiting for us. It is a gulf stream mark S jet. But before we leave we find an Australian bunch of lobsters and pina colada's being loaded. Thanks Ange, You are awesome to bring us lunch. Angela says Hay where is the pilot. Brandon and I smile at each other, while the others laugh. Angela says ? Wow! you got to be kidding me mates. As we climb into the cockpit together. Yep you got that right Angela, Its me and Grammy flying. There is a look of astonishment on Angela's face as she turns back to take her seat. Jeremy pick up the mick and says lady's and gentlemen this is captain J, I would like to welcome you all aboard. Please take your seats , buckle up & enjoy your flight.
We are in flight now and Amy & Tessa serve food as flight attendants. And Papa Jerry is the chef. We are in the air about 3 hours and land in Florida. We take another limo to the docks and board our ship the Patriot Stone. We sail for 3 days until we come to our island.

As soon as we set foot on our island we are greeted by Chance our personal attendant, who has a cooler. As he sets the cooler down the kids surround him as he hands out ice cream to all of us. Next we hop into a motor cart and go further into the island. We find a big roller coaster already built. We are all amazed by its height, We climb out of the cart and get on the roller coaster. We are all screaming yelling and having fun. We end our first night on the island with a fireworks show and roast hot dogs on the beach. Afterwords we all camp out on the beach for the night.

The next morning were woke up by the chattering of the islands villagers. We gather around our beach camp fire. We have coffee eggs and fish for breakfast. When we are done eating, here comes Pablo with our scuba diving gear. We load up on a small motor boat and as we go off shore we all jump out of the boat into the ocean. We see big fish little fish, all kinds of fish. We all climb back into the boat around noon and eat crab and lobster sandwich's for lunch. When we are done we cast out our poles. y'all catch all the bigger fish, And I (Brandon) catch only a small one. LOL

Next we go back to the island and head to the highest peak. As we get to the top we are looking around in a 360 degrees show of miles of blue. Suddenly we hear Grammy and Angela yell "Come quick!" We all run over to where you 2 are and to our utter delight, it's a really big water slide. It starts from the top of our island and it doesn't stop with all it's twists and turns until it hits the ocean. Next we all take turns sliding down , we were about 50 feet apart. so we won't crash into each other. We finally make it to the bottom and play in the ocean for a while. We all get out to the smell of BBQ. Yum. We follow our nose where ever it goes. We eat so much we have to take a nap. When we wake it is night time. So we go out into the woods and play flash light tag in the dark. When we get tired we go back to the village and sleep in our huts till dawn.

All in all we stay on the island for about 2 month until we have to go back to the states so the kids can go to school.
Love to all
Brandon

Virtual vacations

2011-07-20T09:11:00.005-05:00

I have been writing virtual vacations to my foster grandson Brandon.And he has been sending back wonderful adventures. I thought I would share them with you. As our stories are getting bigger and more exciting all the time.
In a virtual vacation you can do things you would never do in real life.
Here is my story sent to him this week.

We just had a wonderful adventure With Angela and her family in Australia. We set sail in our pirate ship "The Patriot Stone, And tell our caption Jacob Stone to set sail for south America. He reply's How wonderful " I can use my new solar powered Hyper drive engine . So the sails were lowered and we had to buckle in. WOW ! What a ride only 3 hours pass and we are on the shore of Costa Verde.We are then driven to Manchu Picchu resort to rest for the night.
We were awoken the next morning with breakfast in bed.
And off we went to a near by airport. We boarded a small 12 person airplane . With in a half an hour our pilot said. " We are almost there. it is time for every one to get on there para shoot." What !!!! I said. He said there is no place to land you have to jump" A helicopter will be sent to pick you up in a week.
So the door opens and out we go. We are all in a circle in the air. One by one we open our shoots. And it is amazing. I have now flown like a bird. Every one touches down safely. And I see my self floating into the only tree. RRRR. Help. So Brandon and Jeremy climb the tree and cut me loose.
We are then greeted by the chief of the Inca tribe.
Túpac Amaru. He says welcome. I will show you to your home for the week. They give us a refinished stone building. We all decide to change for dinner to find. We have no clothes. HEHEHE. So the tribe sends us some and Jerry says I am not going to wear a loin clothe. I will wear what I have on all week. So we all laugh, and go out side for dinner. There is much to chose from. And the men of the tribe are dancing like I have seen back home in the Us with our pow wows.
A young beautiful girl comes over to us and asks Brandon to dance. So up he goes. They come back with smiles on there faces. And her father comes over and sits down. " Welcome to the family my son. He says to Brandon. He just did a marriage dance with her. His eyes open wide. WHAT ? !!! We all laugh, I say we will work this out later. So we then retire to our house. The sun rises to wake us. And I take a deep Breath of cool dense clean air. And walk out to find breakfast awaits. We decide to explore the structures today. By mid day, Amy, decided to sit down against a wall on one of the dilapidated buildings , and suddenly the wall behind her starts to crumble. She hops up quickly to find it has exposed a tunnel.
We all look at each other with surprise. TREASURE HUNT ! Yells the kids. So we all one by one crawl through the opening. We find a room at the end. And lucky we find there are torches for us to light our way. So the room begins to lighten up. And we see an alter and a chair. I go closer to find a book. I pick it up and have a seat. It seems to be full of had painted flowers and plants. This must be medical and healing knowledge. I thought to my self. I look up and Jeremy has found what may be a key.
So We all start looking closer at the walls. Tessa says. I think I found it. As she moves a small flat stone back and forth on the wall. Brandon takes the key. And it fits. He says. Should I turn it. We all agree. Yes. Suddenly the room starts to shake. OH NO! Booby trap ! Jerry yells. The alter soon falls into the ground, The shaking stops. We all slowly move forward to find. Steps. Should we go down. I ask. We all agree, yes. We find it is level after level of rooms. There are air tunnels that lead out to the sides of the mountain. And gold and diamonds every where you look. Along with ancient artifacts. We pick up a few things and take them back to the Chief. He is so amazed at our find. And so impressed that we were honest. He said. Take what you want and call or write me if you ever need any thing. He gathers his tribe. And declares us all to now be family.
So we spend the rest of the week exploring. And taking in the sun shine. At the end of the week. We have to cross a net bridge to get to another mountain top. Where it is flat enough for a helicopter to land. We are taken back to our hotel . And we all run to our rooms. Awe nothing like indoor plumbing. And a hot bath. We all meet up by the pool to discuss were to go next.

___________________________________________

I altered the faces. The first man on the rope bridge is Brandon , 2nd is his new virtual father in-law 3rd Scott, My hubby Jerry, Jeremy


These images were taken from the web

Manchu Picchu

Our ship The Patriot Stone

Please let me know if you would like to write a virtual vacation to send to Brandon.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Good by clutter

2011-07-12T05:50:00.000-05:00

Out with the lazy boy

Out with the lazy girl

Good by comfy chairs

Grammy is cleaning house

Hello scraps of paper

Let me throw together a back ground

I feel like a kindergardener

But this is only the begining

Next de- cluttered my brain

And see what the future holds for me.

Look out world I am cleaning house.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Art every day

2011-07-09T02:09:00.001-05:00

This is the most collage's I have ever done.
I normally do things digitally. I bought the book for only $2.00. And started cutting out images. Some have doodles. And I did a zentangle with my hand on one page. Over time more will be added to each page.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Wishcasting

2011-07-06T05:00:00.004-05:00

This week Jamie Ridler’s Wishcasting prompt is “what do you wish to make progress on?”

I have not made a wish for a while now.

But today is a big one.

I wish to stop taking antidepressants.

I have now made it on 1/2 dose

One week as of Monday.

You may ask why I am publicly announcing this.

Like any other addiction you need the support of friends to help you stop.
Lexapro

Is addictive. It has the least amount of side affects.
While using it for depression.

And was a life savor.
But the withdraw is awful.

The drug company's say it is discontinuation syndrome,

because they do not want to admit it is withdraw.

They do not tell you of the brain zaps and your inability to walk straight or function for up to 8-9 month.

I so hope it will not take this long for my brain to start accepting my own serotonin again.

But in the mean time

I could use all the positive support of friends I can get.

Thank you for your well wishes

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Field of dreams

2011-07-04T03:51:00.003-05:00

Wheat Field with Rising Sun, Vincent Van Gogh, 1889

The field is full of dreams

Some of which are left unseen

The sky may never sigh

The ground is really round

Many thoughts abound

So many details

What story does this really tell ?

Could this life be an illusion

A dream and we participate

Just images we paint

We label and describe

Do we drink in our senses

walk around unnoticed

As the hills howl

the sun scorches

the wind blows

Do I dare use my nose

And partake of this beautiful rose ?

Happy 4th to all .

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Thoughts abound

2011-06-27T20:42:00.006-05:00


photo by Tess Kincaid for Mag 71

The left side is original and I altered the rest for my story

As I sit here in the dark room
I wonder

I close my eyes and to my surprise

On the floor I see a glow

My heart begins to radiate

Oh, a feeling so eminence

It is so hard to explain

Suddenly fibers appear before my eyes

As I look at each one illuminate

They are taking on a shape and unique color

They resonate a feeling of pure love

As I bask in the warmth
It fills my mind

Incredibly, comfort and Joy take over

Then suddenly to my right, more fibers appear

One by one taking on a life of there own

As there eyes open, I feel them looking back

My thoughts ramble, wonder & I question

Are these the cords and fibers of my being ?

Are they the feelings I can not express ?

Has my spirit been released !

Are these just illuminated thoughts ?

Is a thought just a thought ,or is it life its self

After all these years

I am free to see
We create and live our life, through our thoughts.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Magpie Tails .... $1.99

2011-06-20T10:57:00.004-05:00

photo by Tess Kincaid for Mag 70

Who would have thought

Is this all my life was worth

$1.99

Or is is only the frame

I thought memory's were priceless

Is there no shame

Yet I hold no blame

I loved every treasure I was given

Ancestors adorn by history

Yet some are still a mystery

They are so much apart of us

Grandma's eyes

Daddy's toes

Where did I get this nose

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Magpie tail 69 Sea Shell

2011-06-13T07:11:00.005-05:00

http://magpietales.blogspot.com/2011/06/mag-69.html

I love sea shells and rocks

I collect them every where I go

needless to say I have many rocks

and very few shells

Sometimes I wonder if I will be near the sea

I made to to the golf once

Dolphin island was amazing

White sand on all the land

Seagulls flapping in the wind

Prehistoric looking pelican's

Beautiful dolphin playing in the waves

Ducks following us to our room

fish jumping

birds singing

Oh what a beautiful way to spend your day

By the sea looking around with me

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Welcome to my home

2011-06-12T06:21:00.000-05:00

Please join me for the start of a beautiful Sunday morning in my front yard. The weather is perfect today. It is cool and crisp. Shorts and no shoes type of day. The sky is beautiful pink and blue color. We will have coffee and pet the cats. Hear the birds chirp. Breath in the cool clean refreshing country air. Oh life is good. May you have a peaceful wonderful loving day my friends.

#trust30 fear

2011-06-11T06:57:00.001-05:00

These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Is fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self expressed? Put yourself in the shoes of the you who’s already lived your dream and write out the answers to the following:
Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? or the love you’ll never venture? or the joy you’ll never feel?
Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?
Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?
Now Do. The Thing. You Fear.
(Author: Lachlan Cotter)

This challenge is getting pretty deep. We all have some thing that holds up back. And I have to admit I have quite a few things. One is a copper head snake that showed up in the yard at this home. It prevented me from gardening . And it may still be burred deep in my thoughts. I do not have a fear of them, I just have mouse written on my forehead. Or the sense something in me that says bite me. Even when I owned and ran a pet store back in the early 90's the ball pythons, would strike at me through the glass.

I know my life would be completely different if I could lay down my anxiety and fears. I am working on learning why I have some. And will work on releasing them. I am learning from asking my self questions. I can go deeper to find the root cause.
Why do I feel .......... ?
Why can I not get over .......?
What can I do to change.......?
These are some sample of questing to ask your self so you can find the answers you need. It is some time best to get your own advice. But it is amazing when the universe sends you the answer.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

#trust30 ... spread your personal message

2011-06-09T03:00:00.007-05:00

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?
(Author: Eric Handler)

I would have to say.

We are all just people trying to do our best, to live the life we are given.

It is time for us all to learn to get along.

Be your best self. Lay down your hate, learn to love every one.

Lay down your judgment both toward yourself and others.

Stop fighting and start loving every one including your self.

We are all alike there are many differences in our outer appearances,
but we all have a good loving kind soul.

Let your soul lead you to do the right thing. Live, laugh, love you are a gift from above.

So enjoy your life. Let go of strife.

Let go of any and every thing that does not serve you in living a good life.

E Herman
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

#trust 30 ...Afraid to Do

2011-06-09T02:59:00.000-05:00

Afraid to Do. prompt by Mary JakschThe other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.
I could easily write about anything. I do not write about religion or politics. As those subjects have to may things that cause other people to become angered. Or start wars.

I do have to say I do not like being attacked for my beliefs. I respect every one else and wish for the same.
I could write about my fears.

But I do not know what good would come of it. Only I can learn to over come them. No one else could make me get on a roller coaster. Or wave a magic wand and take away things that cause me fear.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

#Trust 30 Five Years

2011-06-07T02:37:00.005-05:00

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would you say to the person you were five years ago?
I would have to say this is not the end of life. It is the beginning of self renewal. The first steps to a rebirth of spirit. Lesions of life will be analyzed. You will learn all the issues you have dealt with have made you a stronger person. Even though you feel hopeless and helpless. You will use these life lessons to find your true purpose in this life. You will learn to make your self happy and know what is relevant and what matters the most. You will find that loosing your mind will open you up to what is truly important in life. This will all become a blessing in disguise. You will the feel passion , and radiate love. Happiness will be required not optional. You will learn to look at things with new eyed. Leaving all judgment to those who wish to play head games.

What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?
This is a hard one. But I assume ,I would say I am glad you are happy , because I woke up. I am sure I will be much wiser and yet still learning.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Magpie tail # 68 The Eye

2011-06-06T07:19:00.005-05:00

Look into my eye

You may see me sigh

but you will not catch me cry

Do you not see my soul

It is deep in the center of my eyes

It tells the story and will never lie

The truth is

I am me and I am free

I will not conform

So I will never be adorn

I will just me

The way I was born to be

Wild and free

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

The prince

2011-06-04T04:36:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here reading a book this morning.
I get up to go into the kitchen to get more coffee. When I return to the living room to sit down. I suddenly see movement on the floor. I think to my self Oh, my prince has a rived. :) I catch the frog and move it to a better place to take a photo. I giggle and Think. I should write my own faerie tail. Should I kiss the frog. No, I am not that desperate for a kiss. My cat Reba is on the back of my chair just watching me photograph the frog. I am so amazed she is not interested in catching it. Could it be she has already tried frog legs and do not like them. Or is it she has no interest in a prince either.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

A gift for me

2011-06-03T08:52:00.000-05:00

Lorilyn of The dream life blog, did an awesome reading for me this month. She seemed to capture my new emerging spirit. Along with my love of play. Here is the video of my reading. Feel free to visit her too.

Cards for June 2011, five from lorilyn on Vimeo.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

#Trust30 , DAY 2 POST

2011-06-01T17:32:00.003-05:00

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

. How would you describe today using only one sentence?
(Author: Liz Danzico)

TODAY, STARTED OUT WONDERFUL, GIFTS OF ORIGINAL THOUGHTS FROM AN 11 YEAR OLD, GRANDSON.

15 Minutes to Live

2011-05-31T09:19:00.006-05:00

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

Wow, I would have to tell my kids and hubby I love them, and I am grateful to have them in my life. I would have to call my dad and say good by. My friends would have to get an I love you too. I would have such a hard time just finding the words to write on paper. I do not know if I could use my last 15 minute of life writing.
I would want to see the sun shining one last time. I would want a hug. This challenge is something I have to decline in the form of written words. Because the selfish me would want to see, touch taste feel. One more bite of chocolate. One more look into every ones eyes.
One more blog post to tell you all. I love you too. This would be my extent of writing. I need every one to know how much your kind and loving words have brought joy to my life. I think this is the most important thing in life. Share the love.
As for words of wisdom. I would let my grand kids know.
Life is full of test. Some refer to them as problems.
If you just treat each instance as a learning lesson. As in what do I do. The answer to some things is nothing. Just let it be. It will pass. Do not take any thing personal. And do not waste your life. Thinking you are a victim of any one.
This thought leads you to a life as a slave to this thought.
Then one day you wake up and find. You gave up your entire life to something that happened 40 years ago. You must learn asap. You do not want to become the slave to your negative thoughts.
Ps, Amy calls and tells me to write She gets every thing. :)

NOTE: This is a 30 day challenge of writing prompts.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

A new view

2011-05-30T17:01:00.002-05:00

Give your self a new view

We all believe we own this place

but we only borrow this space

The world is not ours to control

Mother nature has taken a toll

She reminds us this place we call home

Is hers to control

The rain is seen as an on going thing

But it is natures way of cleansing

All the chemicals away

So nature can regain its health

So. give yourself permission to look at this day

in a whole new way.

Take time to play

The world is renewing its self

We have no choice but to go with the flow

look at this change with new eyes

What is washed way, will become new

It was not meant to make you blue

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Haiku

2011-05-27T01:17:00.000-05:00

What words come to you from this image ?

Please visit Rebecca for more haiku my heart posts
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Oh to John

2011-05-26T21:19:00.010-05:00

I was not going to do the story on this man

I have spent many nights ignoring this man

He is my husbands delight

But not in my sight

I have respect for him

But how many times can you watch reruns of him ?

My husband could listen to him all day
Maybe even dream of being him all night

Would he give me this much time of day or night

Nope :)

Not even if I road in on a horse

Or put on a fancy western dress

I could not even rope a calf
And get him to laugh
But you can say, I am his better half
I hope you do not think of this as mean
I just wish to be seen

A poem written by me for Blue bell books
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Magpie 67

2011-05-24T02:19:00.005-05:00

OH, DEAR !

WHAT MUST I DO.

I fuss and muss

I wear my best

Yet, no one dare, give me a stare.

Must I show my slip

Or even strip

I DARE NOT SHOW MY HIP.

These men

Do not even grin

Will my life always be this nice ?

Not one look, let alone twice

I'll show them,

One day I will !

When I become the queen

They will never even be seen

Note:

Photo is The Banquet Scene with a Lute Player by Nicolas Tournier, 1625,
This is the first time I have ever written any thing this arrogant with humor before. But these are the words that spoke to me from the painting.

I do remember

2011-05-23T04:48:00.003-05:00

As my pencil flows on the paper

My thought also flow to days long gone

when things were much diffrent

Time just flew by

So now I sit here and sigh

Where did the time go

I may never know

As I sketch and paint

I admit the memory is faint

But I do remember
______________________________________
Written for
Poetry Potluck Week 36-Sketches, Images, and Impressions

One day

2011-05-18T22:19:00.004-05:00

I am going to try my hand at come creative writing, Tess Kincaid of Magpie Tails put up the back ground image of the books on Monday. I asked her permission to alter her photo. You are to either write a poem or short vignette using the picture featured.

So Here we go.

One day I will write a book

maybe even a library full of them.

They will feature some of my wonderful adventures.

Some will be full of trauma and drama

Some I hope will be self help.

Some will be healing art.

Some will be tall tales.

Most of all They will sit on my shelf like the ones above.

At the moment they are bigger than me.

Because they only exist in that photo

And some day my mind will tell me what to write

Because this is just a thought

That could turn into a dream.

As they say

Any thing is possible if you believe it

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

A day of love

2011-05-15T11:50:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was a day like no other. Sure it was gloomy no sun to be found. Even though the sky had gray angry clouds. I was able to mark off another item from my past bucket list. I told you a few years ago, that I found Brandon. He is my foster grandson.

Well I was able to see him in person. He is now 30 miles away from me. This was quite an adventure though. I asked hubby to take me. And he agreed. This was very much a gift to me. As he and the oldest grandson sat in the parking lot. They waited for 2 hours for me to return.

I have never been on an adventure like this before. You walk in the door. You show your Id and then you are scanned head to toe. Even the bottom of your shoe. I then pressed a button on the wall to enter a hall way. I had to show Id to another person up high behind glass. And had my hand scanned. Then push a button again. You go though a long fenced in narrow walk way. A guard was walking beside me in his own fenced in area. There were horizontal walk ways to my left filled with barb wire. It was quite allot to see. yet, I could not take in the full view.
I had to ring yet 3 more buttons and open 3 more door. My hand was again scanned and Id put in the computer. I then was buzzed into the visiting room.
I was sent to window #?. There was only a stainless steal stool with no back to sit upon. So I sat down and waited for a long time. I looked at the glass like a mirror to see what was behind me. I was very nervous. My worry was I had no support for my back. This could lead to me not being able to walk. But I am thankful to say. I made it through. And my only issue was my pants were a bit loose And I had to keep pulling them up as I walked my way back through the maze of doors and fence.

I left there with the amazing feeling of love. This child has been through so much in his 22 years. Yet his spirit is so beautiful. He is an amazing person. He spends his life in prayer. His hope is, that one day will be able to help youth to not have to walk in his foot steps.

Note
30 miles = 48.28032 kilometers
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Nothing to say

2011-05-10T04:00:00.002-05:00

So much to say

Yet nothing to say

This is my day

Am I confused ?

No I am amused

I digitally paint my life away

emotions explored

Yet I am ignored

What good is it to speak

It only makes me weak

No one listens

So I sit in silence

I write and create a life

I am in need

Yet fail to plant a seed

I do grow as he withers

So do I live a fairy tail life

No but I create one in my mind

And paint it to give it life

This is a new way of writing poetry for me. I have to say I kinda like it. I have stared at the image above and added to it for days. It speaks to me and send love. Yet I can not put what I feel from it into words. The girl is an image I created for Amelia on my other blog. And the back ground evolved more each day.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Happy Mothers day

2011-05-08T01:23:00.002-05:00

I send my best wishes to you all

May your day be filled with joy.

The photos above are my gift from my oldest daughter.

She went to St. Louis yesterday, My Mom and Dad were so happy to see them all. The photos include Rebel Our youngest Grandson. He is now 6 month old. You can just feel the love come out of the photo of my dad. He is such a loving kind soul. My Mom even had a bit of great grandma look in the photo. I just wish a SMILE FOR HER. May love touch her heart. And make her world blessed.

The meaning of today is just to open your heart and love your mom, no matter what. Unconditional love. Forgive and forget the past, start a new relationship. Enjoy this day forward with a renewed spirit of love, gratitude, and Joy.

I send you all a big hug and lots of love.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Love in the sky

2011-05-06T01:01:00.004-05:00

Look up to the sky

When you see a smile in the cloud

You will know it's Me

I can feel such a drain

It spreads to all though the rain

Please find your joy, Smile

I send you my love

Threw the sky we float calmly

Dreams of peace fly bye

Put love in your heart
Share it with every one now
Soon we will all heal

As our soul sighs, awe
Love creeps in & leaves you a grin
see smile on your chin

Click here for more Haiku my heart Friday posts.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Story telling

2011-05-01T02:05:00.005-05:00

I could sit and listen to elders all day long. They tell of there lives, they all seem to be good old time pleasures. Simple fun. Growing up on the farm. Plowing fields as children. In reality my aunt and the others kids were the horses. They really worked hard to help out there parents.
Back then it was called chores.Jeremy is very responsible for his age. But there are many kids that do not have any responsibility's these days. Are they missing out on something special?

Times seem to change. And I wonder what story's I will tell if I make it to be an elder.
Will kids even want to listen to an old lady in the future ?
I can tell from Jeremy my oldest grand son, he likes some things. When they are fun. But when it comes to learning more, you have to be sneaky. Because he is already smart. I taught him at age 3 to use the computer. There were amazing software products to keep his interest. And assist in abc, 123, reading etc. But at age 11 you need to be a bit more creative. He tends to be creative, and still loves the computer. So my point is the student will soon be smarter than the teacher. HEHEHE.
So, will he get board with Grammy ?

I really never gave much thought to being a story teller till now. It seems the story should include a lesson. And be on a good note. And also heartfelt is good too. I think this is what attracts me to elders. I can see there life as being the good life. Simple times, full of love and kindness.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Haiku Friday

2011-04-29T06:13:00.002-05:00

Faerie Godmother

Is here to answer your wish

What will it be, hum?

Haiku my heart Friday
I think I would love to be a Faerie Godmother.
I could help so many people
It would be so much fun.
To spread love and joy.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Sending love

2011-04-24T18:16:00.001-05:00

Sending love from my family to yours.

May you be as happy as me.

If not be even happier, than me:)

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Haiku

2011-04-22T00:13:00.003-05:00

Please visit recuerda mi corazon for more Haiku's

Haiku my heart

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Born this way

2011-04-17T05:48:00.006-05:00

Today's theme for Sunday Postcard art is song titles.
So I painted this one for the song born this way by Lady Gaga . She is new to me. But her song speaks of acceptance of ones self and other as they are.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Gratitude

2011-04-15T19:47:00.006-05:00

This to me is a life saver.
With out gratitude you simply exist.
This give me the power to overcome. And move forward. It allows me to feel more passion, love and see the world with new eyes. I use to do the Thankful Thursday posts. But now I try each day to find something new to be grateful for. I have the most essential ones on my list in the above image. But I am learning to be thankful for things I never thought of before.
I have learned to be thankful for problems, but only after I find the good that come of them. I am learning to be thankful for the most basic of things also. Like our senses.
I now need reading glasses to read. But I am thankful I can still see with out them. I found in a meditation I did yesterday the prompt was to visualize. Feel, hear, smell, taste. I am so programed to keep my involvement sent free.
I can not even recall a sent. Allergy's to perfume, and chemicals affected my breathing. So I really did not realize I can not imagine a smell, when asked to do so. I can not recall taste of too many items. So I am going to work on living more aware of my sense.
Like the old quote. Wake up and smell the roses.

I will close by saying I am thankful that you stopped by and left your wonderful thoughts and wishes, in my comments.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Self

2011-04-13T10:34:00.014-05:00

This creation represents transformation.
Like a cocoon, I with drew from life 2 different times.
Each time I came back with new and improved wings.

This time I hope will just continue to evolve into the real me. The one I was born to be. I feel so charged with the ability to learn and let go of old ways. And replace the way I use to judge things, with just simple acceptance.
Because a thought is just a thought till you decide to grab onto it and make it part of you.
I think the best lesson I have learned yet is.
The way we think.
Example
Above the image is just an image.
But when we decide to look deeper. We then allow our mind to make judgment. Like this looks like a 3 girls with wings. There is allot of purple. To me it represents past, present and future.
Then you decide to read the words. You then decide, You like or do not like the words. You either forget them or write them down. Or just right click and save the complete image.

If you do the last one, then you allow this to change your thinking. And then it plants a seed in you to change your way of thinking.
Or you simply say this is nice, or I don't like this, and move on.

This is also how we become our problems. Rather that see them as just a thought or situation. We decide to let them take over our life. And become our life.Rather than see it is just something that has happened. And do something about or or let it go.

This has put me on the path to living by spirit rather than ego mind.
I now see I have depression, I am not depression.
I am not simply, just a wife, mom and Gmom. I am called this because this is what I did in life. I chose to marry and have kids.
All we truly are is a soul/spirit here on earth, who is experiencing life. Through the choices we make.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Empathy

2011-04-10T15:49:00.004-05:00

I have to first begin by stating, :"I am grateful for the last break down of my mind." It has put me on the path to finding the real me. I now understand it is part of my personality to feel things deeply. I found I am a healing empath. I already knew, I am one who feels the pain of others as though they are my own pain. Through this I some times can help others get well. Just by talking and caring about another person is true healing at its best.

I really did not know till now, that I am a healing empath, this is a gift, almost every one has this to different degrees.
All of you have shown this to me, that you to have this ability. When you comment, you help to lift my spirit. And you are truly healing my soul with love, compassion, and virtual hugs.

I knew in the past I could help others to overcome, but it was much harder for me to help my self. Now I feel stronger and more capable. I feel like when my mind exploded. I went out and bought a new computer brain.
The pictures in the post below. Represent the old and new me. I kept every thing good. And the book with a lock on it is what was perceived as bad events. I will keep them now under lock and key. Because they are really just events that happened. When I can see the good that came from them, I will let them out and release them.

Back to empathy,
definition, is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another.

So we also heal though love, fun, laughter, kindness of all types.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Yes I can.

2011-04-07T21:22:00.003-05:00

I did the above photo Jan 2010.
This was my interpretation of my brain.
When I had the first ah ha moment of I can control my thoughts.
I looked at the brain like a computer. Feed me input.
But it did not really sink in to the point, we can control our thought.
We can and do grab and let go of thoughts each moment of every day. Some thoughts stick around, others pass.
Now today, this is my new and improved version of my brain.
I did some spring cleaning.
I think I removed all the virus programs, like panic, anxiety, depression.
But I found you can not just hit the delete button.
You have to find info to replace or repair your way of thinking. Much like virus software. You have to change your way of thinking.
I have been busy. I found hayhouseradio.com and have been listing to some amazing speakers. They all have books so I am fighting the temptation to buy. I only bought 3 books and 1 deck of angel tarot cards. LOL.

But I have not felt so much passion in a long time.
I am not at 100% recovery, but I am on the road to Yes I can.
Please let me know if you would like to hear more on my new adventure of reprogramming.

Transformation

2011-04-06T01:01:00.012-05:00

This week Jamie asks

What do you wish to transform?

I answer. " myself !"

I feel the transformation has already began.

I can feel it.
I put a call out to the universe and my mind is being fed.
So may original words, so many thoughts are transpiring.
I know. when I hear what I need, I have an ah-ha moment.

I feel so grateful now, as I have a new out look. I see with a different prospective. I am being drawn to input, new knowledge, and new ways.
And my soul is now free.
It was so simple.
The words acceptance and choice are the magic words.
I chose to accept what has happened.
I accept I can or cannot change it.
I learn from it. And I must move on.

Now I choose to accept to not let negative things rule and become my life.
I will now look at everything in life differently.
Through fresh eyes.
I found the butterfly pin in the card above and it is on its way to me now. I will use it as my new wings in future photos.

Metaphor

I use to think flying like an eagle was my dream. But now I realize I am a butterfly and should be happy as I am. A butterfly can cocoon and morph into something beautiful. So this is a life lesson. Be your self and love who you are.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Cloud # 9

2011-04-03T23:53:00.000-05:00

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Helping others

2011-04-03T11:28:00.006-05:00

It is amazing how much we all touch each others lives without even realizing it.

When I was going though the profound drama last month. It felt emotionally like the end of the world to me. Your heartfelt comments and love helped me get through the pain.
I have no clue why this felt like the worse thing that has ever happened to me. But I have been finding clues from reading and images. Lorilyn did a reading for me on her blog Retreat was the card she pulled. Then she said maybe the garden was the answer. My thoughts were. Yes, I have not been gardening for a couple of years now. Because of rain made all the veggie diseased. But in reality my real love of gardening was at my old home. I collected hosta's I was a shade gardener. And so connected with the earth. Maybe I need to reground my self , with nature. And this will put balance back into my life. I also came across the the name soul card. I did a search on this site. I found my card to be the hermit.
I thought to my self, I am not a hermit. I am so tired of living the life of one. I want out, I am a people person. But I found from reading the info for that card it came back to the word retreat again. It basically spoke of what I have been doing. The retreat is in my mind. And It is meditation and knowledge coming forth. I am an analyzer and love to learn.
I found from doing further research into the 16 personality types . I really am an enfp/j. I test for both of them depending on the questions asked. I am amazed at learning more about this. It explains why I am drawn to people. It is part of my personality to want to help others. I learned allot about my self. And some about others like my hubby.
I was reading this article on Psychic garbage
And found we go in cycles where we feel thing more than normal.
And there are even more clues I find every day. I am not sure you want to here about them all. I share this info in hopes of helping others if they feel the need.

I thank you all very much.
I feel our bond of friendship grows stronger each day.
I am very thankful for this gift of both the internet and this blog. It has allowed us all, to bond across the world. With other like minded, loving and caring people.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Words flow

2011-03-29T18:46:00.014-05:00

When I woke yesterday morning I felt so creative. I centered my self and said ok soul take control, tell me what I need to know. I turned on my art rage program and started to swirl. The picture above was the end result. But at the same time I saw words starting to flow. So I had to stop and write them down. Page after page came out of my head. I will share a bit with you here today.

As you may already know life is full of ups and downs, like the ocean full of waves and you must accept the fact it has to flow. forever changing with all of its ups and downs. there may be peaceful calm sailing, or adventurous, fun waves, scary storms. But it is all part of a normal (ride/life).

None of this is meant to harm. Only your mind can perceive the storm to be bad. When in reality it is just another day. The clouds will part and go away. So fasten your seat belt and enjoy the ride. Because some times it feels like a never ending tide. You will find this life like the ocean can be quite an adventure, both bright and dark, most of all full of colors, At times it will reflect like the chameleon lizard. You will see it one way, but it is not what you perceived. It has fooled you.
So remember do not let your self be trapped in darkness. For every minute and every day is a new adventure, and the sun will always rise and shine a light into the darkness. The color of rainbows will add to the joy, the sunsets will reflect and create a new affect. One of passion. One of joy.

Every thing in life and this world is connected. We are all one as they say. And every thing in life is temporary. Each and every moment is temporary. You are only here to learn and grow. So experience as much as you can, live, love laugh, cry, and sigh. But remember we all must die. It is only the end of your physical body. as your soul will live on forever a part of the collective. You truly are a free spirit, who will fly and evolve with the ever changing universe.

The name of this should be life is like the ocean.
Both calm and powerful waves.
So enjoy your ride.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

personality test

2011-03-26T06:44:00.008-05:00

personality test
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

I found this to be interesting. It is a free test and no name or info required. once you find out what type of person you are try searching the letters like ENFP may be what I am. I took another test that put a j rather than a p on the end. I was only slightly over on the j. So I think so far the first one is more correct.

E – Extraversion preferred to introversion: ENFPs often feel motivated by their interaction with people. They tend to enjoy a wide circle of acquaintances, and they gain energy in social situations (whereas introverts expend energy).[7]
N – Intuition preferred to sensing: ENFPs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.[8]
F – Feeling preferred to thinking: ENFPs tend to value personal considerations above objective criteria. When making decisions, they often give more weight to social implications than to logic.[9]
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
P – Perception preferred to judgment: ENFPs tend to withhold judgment and delay important decisions, preferring to "keep their options open" should circumstances change.[10]
or
J – Judgment preferred to perception: ENFJs tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability.[10]

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Let me know what you are. : )
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Thought

2011-03-24T23:17:00.006-05:00

Wisdom comes with age
This room is so not empty
It is full of thought

This is my creation for this weeks
Haiku my heart.

What words come to you from this image ?
-------------------------------------------------------------

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Laughter

2011-03-23T06:38:00.003-05:00

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Spring

2011-03-21T01:25:00.004-05:00

Hello every one, it is 1:32 am now.
I will tell you the first day of spring was amazing.
Amy came over this evening and the kids played a bit of foot ball. Earlier in the day, Jeremy helped me clear some of the tree sprouts. They are walnut and pecans the squirrels failed to find from there stash.
The temps were wonderful, we were in shorts.
But the feeling of spring is such a renewal in all life.
I sat out side and enjoyed the moon for a while the evening. As It was not till 3am that I was able to see the full moon. We had allot of rain till then.
But I love this time of the year.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

FAIR MAIDEN

2011-03-19T19:10:00.007-05:00

I could not help it. I had to add a bit of humor.
The maiden is me in a younger day.

The theme this week is FAIR MAIDENS, for this Sunday postcard art challenge.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Stillness and laughter

2011-03-17T16:00:00.002-05:00

Stillness and laughter
can you think of a better way
To enjoy your day.

Haiku my heart Friday,
What words come to you from this image ?
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

THANK YOU ALL !

2011-03-16T00:55:00.001-05:00

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

No 1

2011-03-13T17:34:00.003-05:00

This is my Sunday postcard submission for this week.
The theme is No 1.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Haiku Friday

2011-03-09T20:59:00.006-06:00

Look into my eyes
The strength of many horses
Guide my soul on earth

Haiku my heart Friday, posted early
What words come to you from this image ?

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Update on life

2011-03-08T01:47:00.002-06:00

I did the above graphic image on the 24th of Feb. It was a way of expressing how I was feeling at that time. I hit a new low. I allowed what was said and done to me take control of my mind. I failed to say stop. I went to war.
I did not even know I was venting anger at every one I encountered. I would say this was a new low for me.
But It lead to a new level of communication with my husband and family. I had to release my feeling. I had to cry. I did not know it but I was mean and loud also. I do not know every thing I did. As I though I was just speaking but apparently I was not nice. This is all new to me. I am not one to inflict harm on others. But rage is what I felt. I was at war. My mind went off the deep end. I allowed my self to become a victim. And it was no fun at all. My heart became cold. I had to say things like I need to leave. One way or another. My family was shocked. As I have never said such things before. But they were pushing me. They knew things needed to be done. But they had no ideal I was not capable of simple choice. They could not fathom the level I reached of doom and gloom. I had to call a doctor in St. Louis. He told me I was not insane. That probably 90% of people in America would have an issue with what I went through if they were in my shoes. But the difference in me was I went into overload. And could not function.
I have been broken before. And it seems if you do it again it gets worse. So I will work on taking control of my mind and life again. I will not withdraw farther. I will now fight. And regain my spirit. I am so thankful for all of your thoughts and prayers. I feel them at work in me as we speak. Big hug to all of you. My friends.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

DOUBLE TAKE

2011-02-24T23:25:00.012-06:00

Oh my word, what now
Grammy will do many things
To make you smile, laugh

THIS IS MY DOUBLE TAKE POSTCARD
FOR Sunday postcard art.
And my words for
Haiku my heart Friday
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Day 2 of crying

2011-02-23T17:37:00.004-06:00

This morning started out with a call from the building inspector. He pushed me toward coming right over to inspect my home. I was like can we not do baby steps. I will apply for a dry wall permit. As now they require one. But he then asked me if I was afraid of him or his position. I said position. He said some things I felt were hurtful. Like can you not get up and turn a screw to secure the switch on the wall. Or ? That belittled me. As in I hurt my self every time I use the drill. He threatened me by his words. Do you not want to make your house safe enough for your grand kids to be able to come back over. My mind hit the roof. My kids are not an issue here. No one said any thing to that affect.

Tessa was able to go get her son back today. The ploy of his dad to keep him did not work. He was mad. But he is still trying to get a restraining order to keep my daughter away from him. And go for custody. As this is all about him not wanting to pay child support. He did this before and it was throw out of court. He had Cullen for like 6 months. Then he gave him back with no obligation for support on his part.

But I was doing really well keeping it together from yesterdays post. When I heard Hi Grammy in this sweet soft voice on the other end of the phone. A dam broke tears flooded from my eyes. My heart broke is is full of pain. All this man accomplished was to give me the threat of some one ruling my life and home.

I found a number for the div of aged for MO P&A provides assistance to individuals with disabilities.
I have gotten to the point I feel I need some one to help me. I spoke to hubby about it and he said he too felt like something is going on in his stomach. And he jumps every time he hears a noise like a car door. It is paranoia. We both feel like we are at war.
With some one who want to violate our space.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

I just want to cry

2011-02-22T22:30:00.006-06:00

Jamie asks us today *What Do You Wish For Your Home?*
I wish people would let me live in peace at my home.

My life has been so full of trauma and drama, I do not know how much more I can take. The father of one of grandson's decided to try legally kidnapping Cullen today. He still has possession of the child but he made sure to destroy my life. He not only called dfs. But the city inspector. We are in no danger for having kids here. But the inspector. Has decided if we do not let him in to do a complete inspection of our home, He is just going to condemn our house. And have it torn down. I called an attorney and he has no knowledge of how to deal with this other than cooperate with them. He said it would cost me more than my house is worth to fight them.
So I have to find a way of not being raped by the government again.I fought them in St. Louis and won. Thanks to me. Breckenridge hills, can no longer enter your home and inspect with out a warrant.This was an area and still is one that did not require occupancy permits. Now I have to submit to inspection.Or loose my home. This is why so many senior citizens are displaced and put in nursing homes. Because some one can come in and disrupt there life. All I have are uncompleted repairs. I need dry wall in the living room. And this in no way endangers the life of any one. But he can come in and wants to inspect every thing. There are not many homes up to boca codes. This is the house paw kettle watched his kids build.
So I have a choice of moving or submission.
I am to the point of walking away. I now know why so many with Ptsd are homeless. No one can tell you how to live in your card board box.

I have made plenty of jokes today to maintain my sanity. I said I an going to stand on a street corner with a sign saying homeless thanks to Eldon. Or ????? I have many things that I can not put in print. But I am so tired of lack of freedom. This is America right! Lets evict every one in a log cabin for not having dry wall.
Arrest every one who don't mow there grass. I do mow mine. But there is a law in the town I use to live in. That if you mow your grass and it hits the street there is a $500.00 fine. People get paid to make rules. And we elect them to punish us. I am sick and tired of control.
I moved here and got permits for the electric and roof. That was all that was required of me.
I feel like renting a back hoe. And pushing my house over. I feel VIOLATED BEYOND REPAIR.
At least in St. Louis I had access to competent legal help.Here no one ever had to fight city hall before. So no one has the experience. Or they are there lawyer already.
I feel like where is habitat for humanity.
Where is the home make over show .
Where is any one who helps the helpless.

Thank you for listing to me vent.
I wish I could live in peace, free of problems.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Faces in the sky

2011-02-18T07:27:00.017-06:00

Yes, I do feel you

I can see you watch over me
My heart is floating

Through the clouds we fly
Our soul has wings yet we fret
See, I know not why

Are you just a dream
I see your smile in the clouds
I can feel your love

Looking over you
My heart smiles full of great joy
Dreaming of rainbows

What words come to you from this image?

This is my postcard and words for both
Haiku my Heart Friday
Sunday postcard art.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

A BEAUTIFUL DAY

2011-02-14T10:23:00.005-06:00

I love it! The sun rose in a glory of color.
The temp was over 50f 10c yesterday
I would say more than 2 feet= (60 centimetres.) of snow melted
Today will be over 50f again, so maybe we will see grass again through the window.
Crash is here today along with me to wish you all.
A beautiful day!

Update: the snow is melting!

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Love me : )Meow !

2011-02-10T23:41:00.016-06:00

I feel for your cry
We both need attention to
live each day with love

Lost and alone thinking
You fell for me in the past
will my love ever last

My hearts been falling
I am the cat who loves you
I long for embrace

This is my Haiku Friday entry.
What words do these images say to you?

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Todays fun : )

2011-02-09T12:53:00.005-06:00

We are having a heat wave today. 9f this morning and 2f tonight. School is canceled again today as we have more snow falling. But these little guys were so much fun to watch out of the front window.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

For Ramesh

2011-02-06T07:20:00.006-06:00

Ramesh with his flock
At his home ever one gets along
Peace love joy and more

I did these 2 images for Ramesh
They are inspired by his words below.

Ah, visit of angels
My thoughts roll out a rainbow
Happy colors greet

****

Angels look in awe
Sublime colors offer peace
Aren’t they already home

*****

Deer , goats and sheep
Dance in frenzy around King
Unwell lion skips meal...

Please stop by his place at

http://rameshsood.blogspot.com/

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Haiku my heart

2011-02-04T18:48:00.010-06:00

SteamPunk Inspired postcard
This was quite fun to do.
I created this card for Sunday postcard Art
I painted the background, and added digitally created images.

And so had to write a Haiku for it.

Forever day dreaming
Bringing the sun shine with you
live laugh love have fun!

What words come to you from the collage I did this week ?

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Another snow day @ Grammy's

2011-01-21T15:35:00.012-06:00

Enjoy every day!
Let your inner child out to play,
just say Yes!

It is winter here
Now grab your mittens
Jump in on the fun

haiku my heart

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

My word for 2011

2010-12-28T03:08:00.009-06:00

I have finally decided on my word to live by in 2011.

My word is REVIVE !

This took quite a bit of thought. Last year was the first year I tried this, rather than a resolution. Or what I did in 2008/9 was a bucket list. I very much enjoyed completing my bucket list. I do not know what to put on another one. So I will try to use my word for 2011 to make this an awesome year.

I have included 3 forms of the word as they all have some meaning to complete the theme, These words will not only apply to me, my home, my life. But how I look at every thing to come this next year. I will see new possibility in every thing.
Transforming all to a more positive outlook.

Definition of
REVIVE: become active or flourishing again
1: to restore to consciousness or life
2: to restore from a depressed, inactive, or unused state : bring back
3: to renew in the mind or memory
refurbish- taking what's already there and transforming it into something better, brighter, and more appealing.
RENOVATE
1: to restore to a former better state (as by cleaning, repairing, or rebuilding)
2: to restore to life, vigor, or activity

Merry Christmas to all!

2010-12-24T07:16:00.003-06:00

It has been such a blessing to get to know you.
I have made a number of friendships here on this blog.
Every comment you leave is very heart felt. It brightens my day. And I am so sorry I have not been around much this year. But I plan to try harder next year.

I so wish for you all a day full of family love and friendship for this holiday session. And a joy filled new year.

Will the silence be broken ?

2010-12-23T04:10:00.005-06:00

That is the question I ponder at this time.
This was to be the year of bliss.
But my word to live by this year turned into silence.

Bliss definition
1. can be a state of profound satisfaction
2.a constant state of mind, undisturbed by gain or loss.
3. happiness and joy

I would have to say yes to #1. I have never experiences anything like this before.
I would say in silence I did achieve #2. as it was no ups or downs. no drama. What ever happened , happened. With out my input.
So silence can be bliss.

I would have to say no to #3 there is peace in silence. But happiness and joy no.

In some ways silence is just letting the days go by with out living them.
And for this reason I will search for a new word for next year.

He's here

2010-10-20T20:21:00.003-05:00

Rebel is here. Born at 12:30 pm 6lb 13oz 21in

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

time capsule

2010-10-10T23:43:00.012-05:00

My life has been filled with kid fun this weekend. We were able to have both the oldest grand sons. So I planed a scavenger hunt. It turned into works of art.

You can see the family resemblance in this photo. : )

The weather was perfect today. Not to hot or cold.
The trees are starting to tun color. The walnuts are falling.
This photo was taken during this years antique tractor pull. Remember the alligator I was holding last year. Look how big he has grown. Click here to see last year photo again.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Oh to dream

2010-10-01T04:36:00.006-05:00

You would think this a simple thing to do.
What will I be doing in 5 years ???
Will I still be married?????
Will I still live here ?????
Will I be happy and healthy?????

I have pondered these thoughts all week.
So I will just start letting word flow at this moment.

Some facts" I do know is I will be eating chocolate."
I will love my family and friends. And treasure every moment I have with the grand kids.

But to dreams as if I were a child again. I will be age 55 at that time. So I would love to be traveling with the one I love. One who makes the sun shine and set with there happy smile. One who loves to laugh. I would love to be living on the beach some where that the temperature is always perfect. Not too hot & not too cold.
Now for some real dreaming I would like some one else to cook and clean and take care of all of life's needs. So I am really in a fantasy mood now. You can just imagine the rest of this story. To be pampered and loved.

But to tell the truth, I have no clue what choices I will make as yet. For today I live day by day. And will make wise choices as to what path lies ahead of me.

Live and let live is a saying I will always live with.
And I will continue to reprogram my self to live happy.
May you all find your path and enjoy every moment.

Lets dance.

2010-09-24T01:35:00.005-05:00

This Week's Happy Book Assignment is to create a list of songs that make you want to get up and dance.

This brings back such wonderful memory's. My friend Anita and I would go to most of the places her cousins were playing. This was so much fun. They were called : The shades of country" We did every thing from swinging to the 1o step. But The song Old time rock and roll was my favorite. Like it says. The kinda music that soothes my soul.
So what song gets u up to dance?

Wishcasting Wednesday

2010-09-22T07:42:00.005-05:00

What do you wish an abundance of?

For me it would be vision. Both sight and foresight.
In the past I was able to do well at knowing, what will happen or what is needed in the future. Along with that gift came worry and anxiety.
Now I have no clue what I will do. No ideal what will come. Or how soon. But I now have the gift of living in the moment. No worry. So it is a trade off.

But to create a vision of a happy, loving life to come would be awesome.

Please visit Jamie for more wishcasting Wednesday posts.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

The Next Chapter: The Happy Book

2010-09-16T22:30:00.009-05:00

It has been a long time since I have been in Jamie's Book blogging group. I really miss all the fun. So tonight I put in my order for the book.
And I am doing this weeks assignment.

With the suggestions given by Jamie. I will write a story using these words. circle, tree, smile, sparkle, heart, clean, treasure, red, fresh, sky, yum, toes, morning, home.
And the theme of being thankful.

I am ever so thankful for my home. I no longer have a circle of trees. They are more in a row and sprinkled here and there. They have long been a treasure to me. I love waking up and watching there leaves sparkle with the morning dew. Some seem to be ever reaching to the sky. Some grow yummy red apples and nuts. This yard is quite abundant with pecan, and walnut. Soon the squirrels will be going nuts themselves. Both running here and there. Throwing nuts at my cat and my truck. But it is so much fun to watch. I do not worry about cleaning up the mess. As it is hubby who complains about that. lol. I get to sit back and wiggle my toes. Smile to my hearts content. And watch him pick up the walnuts. My self I would just leave them lay. As some day the squirrels will take them all away.

Now for my thankful list. To sum it up I am thankful for every one and every thing. I have spent the last 2 years letting people know how much they mean to me. And how grateful I am to have them in my life.

My family and friends are on the top of the list. Life would be nothing with out my grand kids. They are the true joy in my life at this time. They make you smile and give such joy. It is an amazing feeling.
When your kids have kids. They are a true treasure of love.

This video is a sample of simple fun watching the Grand kids run circles around one of my walnut trees.

2010-08-31T05:36:00.002-05:00

It is already the end of August. I think I missed the whole summer. Where did time go. I have never had a summer like this one. We had Jeremy a week or so in June.Then he was home to take swimming lessons. Then the month of July he spent in St Louis . This was his first time to stay with his dad. And then back to visit with us a week. Before you knew it School has started. Now we have him on the week ends again. He is such a blessing to our life.

My oldest is having a bbq baby shower in Sept. It will be coed. And it is byob and diapers. I laughed . She said she found that men have this and get enough diapers to take care of the baby for 6 month. So the invites went out on face book and I was amazed. Some of my friends may drive all the way 170 +/- miles to attend.

I have been spending a bit of time writing in a journal. I have had so many thoughts, that I decided to write them down before I forget them. I also am thinking about joining another book blogging club. Like I did with the WTJ. This book is called The Happy Book by Meg Leder and Rachel Kempster.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Time to break the silence

2010-08-29T00:26:00.012-05:00

My writing may come and go . but my silence in life still goes on. I was reading on another blog the other day. And the words in silence we find peace stuck with me. I do feel peace. By not talking to others about things that have happened, I allow them to just go away. No drama no anxiety. Therefor I now live in peace. This also clears the mind chatter. I assume by playing games on face book this too keeps my mind busy. No chatter no Drama. Life goes on.
But this is no different than my own form of meditation.
But I do have times of communication now on face book.
Where before I played in silence. Now I say a few things. Write a few things. And wish I could help a few people.
Affirmation of the Day
My life and my health are becoming better every day.
____________________________________
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

The verdict is in

2010-08-09T06:11:00.004-05:00

IT"S A boy.

Due Oct 24, 2010.
so our next grandchild will receive the title of the youngest boy. And Jozlyn will still hold her title of only girl.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Retirement 101-2

2010-07-09T05:16:00.009-05:00

Angela said...Why not approach it with excitement rather than with fear.
That is a great question !

The simple answer is " It's all about the money.

We are programed from early on to plan and save for retirement. Our goal is to build a nest egg. Most people are unable to save. Some people are unable to buy a home and have it paid for by this time in life. Some are forced into early retirement. And are not prepared to have to live on any where from $600- 1400 a month. for example our house payment in St Louis was over $800 a month. Where most 3 bedroom homes in the area rented for over $1000.00 a month. Home tax's were $1400.00 a year. there is car insurance. medical insurance or bills. utility's. food. our total cost per a month was near $2000.00 a month to live in our old home.

Where now this house is paid for and tax is only $240.00 a year for near the same square foot home. And a 1/4 acre less yard. Sales tax is higher here. But personal property tax is lower. After medical cost are paid we have a little over $800.00 a month to live on. So you see if we were still in St. Louis we could not even make our house payment.

The question how do we survive on so much less income is the biggest fear of retirement.
In the past family's were still on family land and grew or hunted food. The grocery store replaced this for most people. And we are a spoiled nation. We use to much credit to buy things we want. And do not really need. So we spend most of our life paying off loans and credit cards. This prevents saving.

Another fear is the reality of getting older. We do not want to give up our life as it is. Hubby did not want to accept the fact he is not able to do his job any more. This hurts the ego. And made him feel like a failure. This starts depression.

Some people like my parents were lucky to get a pension along with Social security. At first is was not easy they had to pay allot to keep there medical insurance. Then time wise 1 year to 18 month later Medicare was available to them at a bit less money. So now they live comfortable. When there home is paid off. They then will have no worries.

We also had 2 cars. Now we have just 1. So car insurance is reduced. Once you make a budget and stick to it you can survive on retirement.

But I have not met any one yet who plans for happiness.
I know there are many living there retirement well.

It is a mind set. you have to plan for it.
Know in your heart this will be a time of doing things you enjoy. Spending quality time with your spouse, family and friends.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Retirement 101

2010-07-07T17:30:00.009-05:00

Note : This story will have a happy ending. But the story may never end , as I am still living the life of retirement.

Today I was talking to a close friend about there fear of retirement. The choices to be made. The worry of will we make it. Or should you keep trying to work. She motivated me to start writing again.
So maybe I can share there is nothing to fear. Things will work out. This is just the next chapter of your life. And it is not the end of it.

It is the beginning of what we all worked all of our life for.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Retirement has changed from the good life, to what is now the how do we make it life. We work all of our life now, planning and saving. That is how 401k came about. company's played on our fear of social security not being there any more. or it was far from enough for us to live out the rest of our life on. Some people are lucky to have a pension paid by there work. Some people like me and my hubby do not have any thing but social security. His health forced us into early retirement. Which was devastation for us. As we had to sell our home and every thing we had of value to make it more than a year with no income. We had to find free clinics to get prescriptions for hubby's medicine . We paid the price for the med's at the pharmacy. There was no hope for me till I was able to find a doctor that would give me samples as my medication because it was over $100.00 a month.

Now to get to the point of my story. Why am I writing this and sharing it with you.

Well to begin with your life story is different than mine. You will see that you should not pre-worry about what has not happened yet. Or feel secure that you have nothing at all to worry about. Or I so hope you do not go through what I did. And allow this time in your live distroy you mentaly.
I did the last statement. I broke down mentally and hurt my self. Because I did not know all this is temporary. I did not plan for happiness. I planned for failure. So in my mind I failed.

But in reality I should have planed for good things, like in the old days. The picture of retirement was lazy days at the fishing hole. A life of travel in there RV. Days on end of sun shine. Growing closer to your spouse. Live one day at a time with joy, love and happiness. knowing all you need in life is your loved ones. Having a roof of any kind over your head. And enough food to sustain you both.
This in it's self is success. Having your health is the ultimate achievement. Not many have this. But you can work on it and allow retirement to heal you. As there is no longer the pressure of working 40 hours or more a week for that pay check.

I will continue with this story. but for now this is page one of ? on my lessons to help You plan for the best retirement possible.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

2010-06-10T23:10:00.001-05:00

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Things to do

2010-04-24T22:50:00.002-05:00

While it storms out side
1. have fun with the oldest 2 grandsons
2, feed a wabbit

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Spring has sprung

2010-03-31T15:35:00.004-05:00

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

It has been a while

2010-03-25T03:54:00.002-05:00

I have been silent for a while now. both here and at home. Some times it is best to say nothing..
I started some seed for my garden. It looks like spring will be here soon. I love that time of year. When all is new and refreshed. The birds are singing and frogs are well not whispering. lol
There are a number of issues I am working on. I need to find peace in my heart. Silence for my brain. In the past I have done well at over coming issues.
But I have some I never though I would encounter.
I have made a stand, and will stick by what I believe is right for me.
Not every one agrees with it. but I am putting my need for self preservation first this time.
I am doing what is best for every one.
I still have many things to work out and thoughts to process. But I am not ready to share the details yet. Life is so full of hills to climb. and I have a mountain to blow up right now. I am looking for a way around it. As I am afraid if I climb it. I may jump off at the top. There may be a cliff for me to land on. Or I may continue falling for years. Decisions are hard to make in some respects. As there is a chance to make things worse. So for now. I sit silent and Analiese. Like in a chess game. I do not want to make the wrong move. I have come so far in letting go of life problems. As they are temporary. But some are not so quick to dissipate.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Looking back

2010-03-24T06:10:00.013-05:00

Who will be replaced

2010-02-26T21:40:00.005-06:00

The race is on Scotty jr will loose his title of youngest grand kid.
But will it be him who will be replaces as youngest boy

Or will Jozlyn loose her title as the only girl.

Hum
You guessed it.
A new baby.
Amy is due on Halloween.
So we may have an enchanted grandchild.
Or Amy may have to share her birthday on Now 1 with a new baby.
What a birthday present. LOL
I hope to be blogging again soon.
I have been buried in farmville at face book, since my return from Texas.
That trip hit home for me.
To loose a spouse is traumatic.
There is so much in common with my friend as far as her last few years with her hubby.
But I am so thankful that my life was completely diffrent than the one she had.
No one has a perfect life.
But I can now look back and feel blessed.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

I am back

2010-02-18T13:13:00.003-06:00

What a trip.
I am so surprised that Texas did not see my license plate was from Mo. And shoot me for bringing all the snow to the Dallas area of Texas. We baraly made it out of there.
Snow and Ice all the way to Arkansas. This was last or Thursday. We made a stop at Carla's. And she is so wonderful. I so enjoyed our visit. We made it to little rock Arkansas. And spent the night in a hotel. By friday night we made it to Mo. I am still Tired. As Sat we spent the night in St, Louis.

The newest photo of Jozlyn
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

I'm on the road again

2010-02-07T17:28:00.002-06:00

My best friend in high school called today her husband has passed.
So I will be gone till next Sunday or Monday.
Sorry I have not been by in a bit.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.