From the the Joy diet. A book written by Martha Beck
I did this after the first time I read this chapter.
I wrote down thoughts and feelings.
I think I have read this chapter too many times. Just to get the point of how this is to help me. In the past I was very truthful. And then found it better to say "Every thing is fine." Than to piss and moan. One of my past x friends told me most people really don't care and don't want to hear the truth. They only want to hear all is well with the world. Chit chat. Blah,Blah .She even told her cousin to have her pity party at home. She did not want to hear any more.
"She has no compassion for others."
So I have spent a couple years now of brain washing my self to the point of happiness. I feel it and feel joy. I really believe I am happy. There is no reason to look at my life and say diffrent. As there are many with better & worse lives.
I have learned to live with the hand I am dealt.
I learn more every day to improve my life and make my self happy.
In this book "She calls this living behind a pain of glass"
Her questions for this chapter are.
What am I feeling?
What hurts?
What is the painful story I am telling?
Can I be sure my story is true"?
Is my story working?
Can I think of another story that might work better?
This chapter angers me.
Because I do not want to tell my self how I really feel any more.
I want to pretend all is well with the world.
And live happily ever after.
Now, I have to learn why this book angers me.
I am not the kind of person to get mad easy.
Every day now, I awake and think of new ways that I can see the truth deeper than before.
Like my life did not change when I moved here. It was just me morning the loss of where we were living. OK.
The changes hubby was going through, with his health.
The way I took all this personally. I chose to let it take over my life. Yes I did.
And this did, put me in the world of the lost.
This would have been a better book to read back then. Rather than now. As it is analyzing the past not the present. And I choose to live day by day now.
Please visit Jamie to read what others wrote on this chapter.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.
25 comments:
I love you, and I am praying for you.
I think it's true, that most people don't want to hear the truth, e.g. if I tell you "Sorry, I had no time to read your blog", it's ok, even when you feel, it's a lie. When I say: "Sorry, I did not want to read it.", you would say: What a nasty person! Shame on you!
I'm quite honest all my life (a most Scorpios are), but I always felt, it makes all so difficult.
It's a difficult task. I was really horrified by what Martha wrote, when she decided to be truthfull all the time.
Yes, I was shocked too , how she hurt and angered so many . Only to make her self so unhappy for a year. I can see finding out what is really causing you pain. But not to hurt others. With your own way of thinking.
This chapter "angered" me too! It is not easy dealing with the truth.
Anger is quite the catalyst, isn't it? Like power washing a car. I love the honesty in your post. It's beautiful. :)
Thanks for sharing your week of truth, I guess what Martha was saying for me is that we all get to the truth however we need to and for her it was all or nothing, now I could not do it the way she did, It would really bother me to hurt people, if someone does not want to hear the truth I don't feel it is always right for me to tell them, if they want to hear it that is a different story, does that make sense. Thanks for sharing your truth this week.
I find it interesting that this chapter angered you...it bothered me too! I know that I have put myself into a "good place" and perhaps I too am behind a wall of glass as Martha Beck calls it. In reading your thoughts I'm seeing now what it might be that upset me about the chapter...I have created this place for myself where I can live with truth and untruth and not let it bother me...but in reading this chapter I have been faced with the space I've created and it's telling me I need to get rid of that pane of glass and listen to the truth as it is, not as I want it to be.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts...because of that I have been able to see a little bit more clearly about myself. ♥
I'm right there with you. Let's focus on today, right now. I'm so ready to let go of the past. That is done. What can I do now.
Thanks for the comments about my bottled up project. Oh you poor thing -- to have been conked on the head. I hope you are well now -- even if you forget what projects you've seen in books. LOL
Have a great week. I haven't looked at the next chapter but it has to be better than this truth stuff.
Hi Grammy,
Thanks for sharing this with us. Truth isn't easy to handle sometimes. I appreciate the way you've looked at it. Take care.
I agree with the fellow Scorpio above.
Hang in there Grammy, I really do want to know how you feel.
Wow... I am so appreciative of your honesty, for that is your truth in this moment. You mind my mind ticking away! There's nothing more bare and exposed than that. I don't believe it's so much that you're brainwashed yourself into joy... perhaps you've re-written your story, and isn't that the whole point? The past is the past.. the truth is right now, and sometimes, if you've already done some of this work, your truth can be the joy of this moment. Isn't it funny how we're even programmed to think that we have to have a sad story, that we have to struggle to truly get it? Pardon my long response... you definitely got my noggin working! :)
I was a hard chapter. I hope you have a better time with the next one.
Grammy I always enjoy coming to see your thoughts and art
Important revelation...being truthful with ourselves doesn't necessarily mean telling the world off...Just being aware can be life changing.
I think that a lot of people do not want to hear about others true feelings, but I don't think that should stop you from trying to express your authentic self. The friend you described above sounds like someone who is filled with negativity. I have found that the more positive people I surround myself with, the more I realize that it was the people I was surrounding myself with and not what I was saying that was the problem. Perhaps this might be the case for you too.
You raise a great point about anger. I too read the chapter quite a bit and initially felt offended by what it was suggestion. But gradually as the week went on I began to change my mind and see the power of truth.
I hope your next week of the joy diet goes better.
True friends are there for you through thick and thin. The kind of friend will help you hide a body if necessary..
The people that don't want to hear it are not friends at all.
xx
I think this stirred up things for a lot of people, including me.
I don't think the chapter is necessarily meant to throw us into the past, as I'm sure the audience it was written for is unhappy in the present. If you're happy now, that's your Truth! Good for you! Embrace it!
As for me, I totally ignored the myriad of suggested questions, and just let the truths come, giving myself a gentle reminder each day to notice them when they pinged around my head, as I thought the questions were a bit leading.
As for the author's personal experience of Truth, there's a backstory in her memoir, 'Leaving the Saints', which I had previously read before this came up, and it helped me get through that part without being miffed.
Sometimes anger is good, though. It makes you take a closer look at things.
Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and reactions. I hope next week is easier for you, for us all! ;) ((Hugs))
Wow...I can totally understand why this chapter would hit a nerve. But I've found that when something rubs against the grain that's when I need to spend time with it...like pigeon pose for me! I HATE THAT POSE...but when I give in and just do it something always comes up that helps me reach another part of my spirit! Probably a poor example but its all I got! lol Good luck and see you next week!! xo
Totally totally get what you shared here, Grammy! This chapter sunk me to the depths for a couple of days. I really had to sit with it and come back to center. I love how even though it got you all stirred up, your initial hit with the art journal page is so colorful and vibrantly expressing your thoughts and feelings. I had a friend when my son died who was totally there for me. But in the first month after he died, she told me, "I am here and will stand with you through it all, but if we get three years out and you are still like this, then I can't do it." In the time that passed, I totally forgot about that "condition" of her love. On my son's third birth/death day, when I was sad and wanting to do ritual, she told me, "I'm sorry, I can't do that anymore," and walked out of my life. Never came back. It was a crazy lesson of living life after loss. I'm babbling... but just wanted to say that even if your friend and my friend had no patience for the compassion required, I have it! And I will equally celebrate the present moment or stand next to you when you move thru a fallow time processing the past. Lots of Reiki vibes to you, Grammy!
Hi Grammy,
coming by to read your thoughts and hoping that the joy diet gets more "joyful" for us all
Your reaction to this week's work is really so honest - I can understand how you would want to live in the present and not be dragged back to places that you feel like you've left. Only you can sort out whether there's still unfinished stuff that will hinder your journey to joy or whether you've really done all you need to and are rightfully settled in that happier place.
On to desire!
Wow - looks like this course is stirring up a hornet's nest!! I don't know what you have been reading (about hurting others feelings)but I don't like the sound of that.
Anger, like some of the others have said, is a catalyst. Stirs things up. Makes you take a good look at yourself.
However - I think you, Grammy, have done so much soul-searching on your own. You've come to a place of joy and you helped me to find joy too!! I will be ever grateful to you for this.
I my opinion, this is not hiding behind a pane of glass or wearing a mask. We are not pretending our husbands are perfectly well. Hell we live with sickness every day!! But we are CHOOSING to live in Joy. And Love. And fun. And happiness. Your picture reflects all that and more. It is you! Deep down you! You've come through the struggles. You've done the work. Now celebrate the joy you are creating and spreading around you.
Love and Hugs, Grammy, I am proud to call you my friend.
I love that you took some of your thoughts about this chapter and did art about it. I haven't started any art but I want to do some vision cards, as Jamie suggested.
This chapter didn't anger me the way it did for you, but it did strike a nerve. I don't want to look at all of this either. Sometimes it does feel easier to just put the stuff in a drawer and move on. But eventually, we have to clean out the drawer. Maybe that is what this is doing for us.
Take care, Grammy. I hope we both have a better week with the next chapter. :)
I had to read the chapter twice and there were parts I just didn't want address because I had already let go of past burdens and I didn't want to drag it all up again. I can see where it would be helpful for those who are still carrying a lot of emotional luggage from their past though. I am very much a devotee of The Power of Now...so, I'm using the Joy Diet's Truth lesson to focus on the current events in my life because, even in the present, there will be contrasts/negatives that we often have to deal with.
I meant to also say that I enjoyed reading your post and seeing your creativity at play.
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