I now am totally free of all of my life's baggage.So, I am trying to share some of the key things that gave me this freedom. With out telling my complete life story. I hope I can help others to this joy. But it took me 52 years of life to get to this point.
1 week before Christmas this task was complete.
I got to tell my step dad every thing that I was told to not say by my Mom. We talked about her too. My dad said "you have no ideal what it is like to live with her." I giggled. "Oh! Dad. yes I do." After telling him things like I met my real dad. And how I was treated as a kid. We crossed the line from family to friend. When I hung up from talk # 3 My body psychically trembled. A feeling of joy and peace over came my being. My chains of secrecy, fell of my body. This was the last thing that completed my mental healing. I am FREE! I am Happy! And I will never be chained again. To any thing that harms my mental health.
All of this takes allot of re thinking. Analyzing and getting to the truth. Changing the story's played over and over in your head.
It helps to get to know your self better. Take the Jung Typology Test
This will help you understand why you are an emotional person or why some people are cold as ice. It take allot of time to learn all you can about his. But so well worth the effort. It explained to me why My husband and mom are the way they are. And Why I am not like them at all. Why my husband is content, and why I had to learn how to be content. Here is another link to learn more about (Mbti)
I am a ENFP And hubby is ISTJ we are complete opposites. He is a thinker and I am a feeler. But I will not go into more detail on this. You have to learn from the experts. I am still a student.
Next things I learned the last few years. That changed my life.
Choice, Is #1
You can chose how you react or don't react . I can now just listen, and not take on some one Else's issues. I learned to separate my life from others.
The hardest to do was to let go of my kids issues. You have to practice self talk. "It is there life not mine, It is there choice not mine." It is like cutting the cord. I know it sound uncaring. But it is self preservation. Don't make there issues, your issues. They have to learn there own life lessons.
Chose how long you let some thing stay on your mind. The list goes on. As every thing in life is a choice you make. Even doing nothing is a choice. You chose to go there, not knowing what could happen. It is also choices of others. that put you in the situations. As a kid you did not have the freedom to do as you do now. But you have to chose to let go of things that were not in your power as a kid. Learn from them and chose the freedom of forgiveness to break the chains of trauma.
Forgiveness is # 2
You have to not only forgive others but your self too. And realize, you are only the prisoner of your own thoughts. You can no longer allow your mind to relive the events. It is like watching the same movie over and over. You have to write a new script. And look at it differently.
Example My Mom did not love me. Is a statement played over and over in your head. But if you really dig deeper , Mom did not know how to love any one, including her self. So it turns poor me into poor her. She lost out on what a wonderful person you are. Because . She was stuck in her own mental trauma. By releasing and rewriting the events. You are able to see life differently. And not doomed to repeat this behavior.
Acceptance . #3
Because you have to make peace within your mind. Accept it happened. And it is now over. You learned something which you can chose to make a part of your life or be free of it. You can not change the fact it happened. But you can chose not to let the event rule your life. Take control of your thoughts. Or they will run amuck. Chose to live this day forward in peace. You have to do allot of self talk . Affirmations, like I am happy with my life. Reprogram your mind as if it is a computer hard drive. Reright what you can not erase.
This is a great statement . If you keep reading the last chapter over and over. You will never write a new chapter in your book of life.
I will continue this but for now. I say see you again soon.