Thursday, August 6, 2009

Reclaiming hope.

It is time for me to find inner peace again. I now have to learn to be happy where I am. I have to make or find magic in this yard. As I no longer have hope of the new place. This house had potential or I would not have bought it.
I have to make peace with it. And learn to love it. I need to finish the rehab and unpack.
What do I hope for now? This has been like fishing this last year. A worm on a string in front of me. It got me through the winter and. I did not bite the worm till this last month. With the wishing and dreaming meme. I allowed my self to dream about the freedom there. The peace and calm of the yard surrounded by trees. I need to plant more bush in this yard. As I have too many prying eyes here. That is what is missing. My old home was lost to most eyes. They had to look behind the trees and bush. In winter it was exposed. But I was not out side then.

I so remember the joy of sitting on my glider in the front yard. Watching nature unfold. It was beautiful. I had raccoons knocking on my sliding glass door every night. I bought dog food just for them. Some times I would catch them in the kitchen eating my cats food. They would come out early and sneak in. It started with one. Her name was Dunkin. As she would pick up her food and dunk it in water.
She had kids and her kid and so on. We were at the point of shifts. We had as many as 27 at one time. They were wonderful to watch. We did not play with them as we did not want then to get hurt by other people. I learned this from raising my first squirrel. When I released her out side. I was told she jumped on the shoulder of a neighbor 4 houses down and scared her.
So I did not want the raccoons to get friendly as they may be mistaken for being rabid.
I know this story goes on and on. I took a break and collected the check from the court house. So now I can start the process of closure. . I hold back the tears. I will go on in my bubble of happiness. I just need to reclaim hope.

I stopped at a yard sale and bought 3 books total .60c a bargain.
I will use the one with the butterfly's and flowers
Like I did with the Wreck this journal.
But I will call it my journal of hope.
My first mission is to learn to be happy where I am.
The other 2 books I will use as copy Art.
The Maya Hieroglyphics has wonderful artifact photos.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.Photobucket
“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” Bill Cosby quote


angela said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dreams not comming to fruition but you know all things happen for a reason. I too wanted to sell this house in the begining and move but it just did not happen. Now my business is here and my son works with us and we are very happy.
Trust this is for the best and the universe will give you what every you need.

Gail said...

You must know there is a plan and bloom where you are planted.

Denise said...

God and I love you very much.

Wendy said...

Ah, Grammy, I feel the same about where I'm living too. Not enough sun. Too many trees. Too damp. Too many mosquitos. Soil too sandy. Driveway too long. Too far from my children. I look forward to the day when I can move. But in the meantime, I need to be happy where I am. It's not always easy, but it's either that or be sad all the time.

As the others have said - there is a plan. A reason why you are there.
Hope you have good weekend!
Full Moon tonight!

Lawendula said...

Seems everyone has a rough time now, the last full moon was very extreme or maybe it's something else.
Sorry you have to bury that dream of yours. But I think you're absolute on the right way! Just carry on. See the light, plant a tree (bush, plant), enjoy nature and be open for abundance to come!

PS: Started my second journal as I went through a woe yesterday, it helped a lot! Just keeping me busy with art and experiments.

Sue said...

So sorry your house dream didn't come about. Things like that happen for a reason, I'm sure. You have a wonderful attitude, and that's going to help you as you make this place "home".
Have a wonderful weekend!

Melinda said...

right here along with you for the ride!