Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Broken heart.

On my bucket list for 2008 I had find Brandon.
He is our foster grandson. He came to us by the way of my grandson Cullen's Dad. His name is Bill. He was in Brandon's life when he was little so Brandon thought of him as dad. One day Brandon's DFS case worker called Tessa and Bill and asked if they would foster him. They said yes. So He entered our life. Brandon had lots of issues from his environment. He had a gang banger attitude. I asked him if he would try to act a bit differently as he was attracting bad things into his life. We had lots of time together. He was at my house before I even woke up. He had energy to spare. He mowed my grass by a push mower . I had 1.12 acres. And he did it in a few hours. He helped me plant in my garden. We spent allot of time talking. I explain how his actions created bad reactions in others. I told him he was loved. And I wanted him around . So he tried his best to be a good kid. When he went to summer school. I went to the conference and saw how Pattonville High school did not want him in there perfect system. They suggested he be place in Hazelwood. As they were more prepared for his behavior. He was told by a case worker that he was doomed to spend his life in jail. All this negative input and the city environment he was raised in created his issues. His mom died when he was 14 years old, and left him for the correctional system to take over and determine his fate.
I saw promise in him. I tried to erase his negativity. I told him he was not a bad kid. It was only his behavior that got him in trouble. If he would learn and do good things the world would change for him. And it did when he was with us. He did not get in trouble again, till he went to stay with his older sister. He made the choice to go back to his survival mode of city living.
He then was put into detention till he was 18. He called me on his birthday at age 16. He said he messed up. I told him again he was not bad it was the choice he made that was wrong.
In July of 05 my hubby found him at the gas station here in our town. And he said his life was turned around he was doing good. Hubby came home and told me of him. But did not tell him I wanted to see him. As when we got back there he was gone.
Hubby has the issue of he is not family. But to me he is. He was a lovable good kid hiding in a gang banger exterior. But Now that I have found him again he is in adult jail for 12 years on 2 nd degree burglary . I do not know his story. I do not know what he did or why. I do know he plead guilty and did not want a lawyer or trial. So he was honest and is paying the price for his crime. He went to a correctional institution. and the record said he was to have shock treatment. So I hope they did not do electric shock to his brain.

I plan to write to him in jail. I know hubby don't want him in our life but, I feel the need to be a part of his. I know this kid can learn to be good. But is it too late for him now? He is 21 years old and will not be out till 29.
You may think I am in denial. But I know he did wrong. I also know it was his upbringing that created his behavior. And if only he was given a chance to do right he may have succeeded.
It breaks my heart that he did not choose to change his life.
.broken heart Pictures, Images and Photos


Denise said...

God bless you sweetie, love you.

Serendipity said...

Hope things work out for Brandon. Hope you'll be able to reach out to him by writing to him.

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Grammy, you have a heart of gold. You see the best in people. Poor Guy... He really didn't have much of a chance. I wish he could have stayed with you all longer when he was younger.

Write him--and maybe when he gets out, you can help him get started again. Kids like that need good role models.

I'm so sorry you are hurting... I would be too.

sailorcross said...

Hi Grammy!!

I just read Brandon's story--it always comes down to choices, doesn't it?

And sometimes, due to backgrounds, sometimes genetics, sometimes just plain lack of knowledge we make the wrong choices.

God is here, with us always, and He has the power to save and wipe the slate clean--a new beginning in His Son--under the SON!!

Prayers going up for you and Brandon at The Lighthouse.


white_lilly said...

Hi Ernie! I feel saddened for Brandon, you are right not to give up on him. You are a good person and I feel you are right about him and I hope you stay in touch with him by writing untill he gets out, hopefully a changed man for the better


mrsb said...

What a sad story for him. You are an amazing woman to want to be a part of his life and to see the good in him. Write to him and encourage him.

I feel that I would be remiss to not say (though I know you are a smart woman and have surely already thought of these things), just be careful, also. Being in a prison can change and toughen someone. I would hate for someone to try to take advantage of you, because they know you are a nice woman.

At the same time, of course, many people who are sent to prison realize that they need to change so they will never have to go there again. Hopefully that is the case, and he is taking this time to better himself. With your added encouragement, perhaps he can start a new life when he gets out. 29 is certainly not to old to start a good life.

Renee said...

Follow your heart!

Wendy said...

Dear Grammy, you are a wonderful, loving and beautiful soul. You are not in denial. Your eyes see the good in people, especially in this child of God.

Follow your heart. Write to this young man. It is never too late. Somewhere deep in his heart he knows you believe in him.
God bless you all.

Angela said...

I will be praying...and your love that you have covered him with is truly doing something within and around him. ((hugs)) Your NOT in denial, you have hope in Christ Jesus a hope that does not disappoint!!