Monday, January 25, 2010

Lifes ups and downs.

In the past I would let every problem take over and become my life.
I am so thankful now, that I am learning to deal with each one and let them go.
When it comes to your child that is a bit harder. I still feel her pain. But I can keep telling my self it happened to her not to me. My job it to adviser her. And not to take over and try to fix them. She has to learn to deal with the hand she is dealt.
Her latest issue is a house fire.

We have her baby here with Amy. No one was in the home at the time so no one was hurt.
This is the first time I have ever stayed home and sent hubby and Amy to help her. I was on the phone. But I am not well enough for the 3.5 hour drive each way. I keep wondering if I am being judged. As Hubby is not use to being the one to do any thing. This is all a new adventure for him. It is like I am still in control. but he is doing the physical part.
But what I see now is they all need to learn to do things with out me. I need to retire from control. I will advise if needed. But I can no longer be the one making choices for others.
Hubby don't understand why we do not have the kids. But I can not care for my self. So how can I care for some one else. So Cullen is with his dad. And Amy is fine with 2 baby's. and there 2 older ones.
No one realizes I am physically broken. I do not want pity , just understanding. I am not lazy. I am disabled. I hope this will go away.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.Photobucket


Gail said...

Bless your heart, you are not being judged. You are doing what you can.

Denise said...

God bless you my friend, praying for you and your family. I love you.

Karen D said...

Wow that is big Grammy and you are right, it is hard to give up control, but now it seems like it is time for you to care for yourself.. be well.

Ms Hen said...

Practicing self-care is a good thing.. others will step up and pitch in and help out.. it is not all up to us all the time.

I am happy no one was hurt in the fire (hugs)

Jill said...

Grammy, they will cope, you have prepared them well. As you say, you are there to impart your wise words now is the time to look after yourself.

Mark said...

Your mind and heart are in sync. You are doing what is the right and best for all including yourself. That often times takes courage. My hats off to you dear lady.

Wendy said...

This is a huge lesson, Grammy and a giant step forward for you! It is hard hard hard to give up control of one's children!! I am still biting my tongue when I want to tell my daughter what to do. What we did, they don't want to. Each generation is different and as you say, they will have to learn to cope.

You are not lazy. I think you are overwhelmed. There has been so much for you to deal with and your health is very important. You need to take time to look after yourself. Sending hubby is a good thing. He will learn to help and feel useful.

I am so sorry for your daughter's home being burned down. How awful! Happy that nobody was hurt. Now she and her family will have to rebuilt that part of their lives.

Sending you all hugs and prayers.

Fire Byrd said...

OMG the affect of that fire, thank gooodness no-one was home at the time otherwise they would surely be toast.
We can all only do what we can do and stretching yourself to do more would damage you too much to make the effort worthwhile.
So just be kind to yourself it's all you can do.

Gramma Ann said...

I am so sorry to hear about the fire. How sad. I hope no one was hurt. I'm sure things will get better as time goes on. And don't be hard on yourself, as we age, I'm learning I can't do what I use to be able to do. Sometimes we just have to say no, it isn't always easy, but if we have to, we have to.

I have a fun award for you, maybe it will cheer you up for a few minutes. You will find it at,

Peabea said...

So true Grammy to see our children go through hurt, but I have had to and am learning to let them deal with it. I take it as my own, and then I worry myself too much. We as parents can advise and let go and let them. ~hugs~ to you and your family that all works out for your daughter, and yes, so glad no one was home. It can always be worse.

Melinda said...

wow Grammy. I like the phrase you wrote "retire from control." I can feel and relate to this post and the sound of your exhaustion. Hope you can regain your spirit and energies back very soon!