Who am I

 This is a question asked by many. Yet some never find the answer. I am a mom, G-mom, Sister, aunt, etc. You can call me an empty nester. As this defines my status of kids grown. But it is also the best time of your life. You move into the position of choice. You can now chose ,(what do I want to do with this new found freedom?) I have been feeding my self with books,art, fun, self programing. Releasing the old. Like a butterfly in a cocoon. I have been painting, drawing. Home rehabbing. The list can go on. Yet, I do not have a goal. Those days are over. I do not need to rush though my day with no time left for me. Days of getting so much done. With no time to smell the roses. Now I can just do what I want, when I want. No one to report to. Unless you count hubby as this person.

Thought!

I have always wanted to be a traveler. Tonight I planted the seed of Mount Rush more . I asked hubby, if he may want to go see it. So This may be my next great adventure.
Wish me luck. :)

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Birthday bash

Saturday was and awesome night. full of sparks. Both from the flames of a bonfire and stars in the sky.  Love and joy filled our hearts with joy.We celebrated the birthdays of both my oldest (Jeremy) and my Youngest Grandson (Rebel) And 1 & 12. Amazing how time fly's.

Jeremy said this was his best birthday ever. There was BBQ, And roasted marshmallows. Fire crackers and a hay ride up and down the gravel road to end the night.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Turning a new leaf

I have just came to the conclusion.

I am not a witch with a bee.

I  have just became brutally honest.
I will no longer be a door mat for any one.
I am still nice , loving and caring.
But no longer will I be used. degraded, or abused. By any one.
I will honestly tell you straight up with out fear.
What you may or may not want to hear.
Hay that rhymes. :)
But there is no reason to be weak out of fear.
Because if they do not respect me the way that I am.
That tells me they do not know the meaning of unconditional LOVE.
If some one can not be told the truth. Then you do not need them in your life.
It seems like we go through all kids of challenges and tests in our life time. And we have the choice to be or play the roll of the victim. Or we have the choice to dust our self off and say.
I SURVIVED. And I will not let it happen again.
Some things are simply lessons learned. 
But I feel we are here to conquer our fears.
Learn to let go of what we could call baggage.

And looking back on my life, I think I can now say" I pass." I have forgiven every one including my self. And yet, I have the experience and knowledge to not fall for some things again. But I hope there are no knew challenges to overcome. Sure there will be loss of loved ones. Accidents etc. But I now accept the fact this is all apart of life. Some people have what looks like an easy path to walk. But,  I know there are few people in this world that can say. I never had a problem. But there are also many people who can say there is no easy road for them. So I am happy to be one of the lucky ones to have had a balance, both what can be called good or bad. And I can now say" I am grateful now for both." 

And I can not get over how free I have became.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Fall color abounds

We are not in full bloom color yet. But the road sides are in the process of change. Red is still a color that has been missing for a while now. I think the ice storms in the past have taken those trees away. But the orange is amazing.

Have a wonderful day and  remember to laugh and play.



These photos were taken on highway 63 near Columbia Missouri. My daughter Amy and I both used our cell phones to take them,  She has a smart phone and the quality is way better than my phone. You can click on the photos to enlarge. 

Freedom of control and judgment

 I have been writing a bit and saving it in my computer. I thought I would start sharing some of it here. some day I hope I have a book that will help others get to the point of freedom I have reached in my life.
I do not have the answer for every one. Only the answer to my life story.

“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha

I remember learning of the old days, times of cowboys and times of pilgrims. Our history tells us that we came to America for Freedom. In those days there was no issue of how your home looked. It was a blessing just to be able to cut down trees and build a log cabin. We did not even know about paint till one day some one decided to paint a barn. Then it caught on every one wanted a red barn. We did not all have grass or even care if the neighbor cut down there weeds. In those days weeds were medicine to some, food to others. We were rich if we had a glass window to look out of. Many kids were raised in a 1 room home. We did not start imposing excessive laws and rules on our self and others till latter on in history. The thoughts all started with some ones judgment and need to control others. And the power to control grew stronger over lime.

Now we have so many laws and rules it is unbelievable what we pay people to come up with.
We have allowed the government to tell us how to live and we pay them to do it.
We sit back and complain to deaf ears. As we feel powerless to change any thing.
We let our neighbors become victims to city inspectors.
I had one knock on my door in the mid 1990's The issue was,I had a pumpkin plant that was growing near the foundation of my home. It was planted among the flowers, yet it grew legs and started taking over the sidewalk that started from my door to my driveway. (The local beauty police. Aka Building inspector) One day knocked on my door.
She had a dumbfounded look on her face.. She looked at the plant and asked. What is this growing all over the side walk. I said a punkin plant. She seemed distressed and said you do see it is taking over your walk. I said yes.
She had no ideal what to say or do. She could do nothing about it because it was a vegetable and not a weed. And there was no law on the books that said your side walk could not be covered by a veggie plant. So, she could not give me a ticket, But if I would have had snow on my walk. She could have. There is a law that said the walk had to be shoveled in times of snow fall.  At that time i felt so free. I smiled and she left. I was then allowed to let the punkin plant grow as long as it wanted. And they could not pass a new law quick enough to make me do any thing. But my plant harmed no one. It just bothered her.

The issue of rules and laws. People saying and judging others has been one of my biggest issues in this life time.  I think of it as a god complex for some.  You have to dress this way. Look this way. Talk this way. Or you are made to feel inferior. But the truth is. Who are they to judge and make rules for us to follow. If I want to wear a pink shirt and green pants blue shoes, yellow hat. Tan coat. Sure I look like a rain bow. But who said this was unexceptionable. I am a bit of a rebel. I use to be worried about what people said about me. But now I do not care. I dress the way I want. talk the way I want. And wish the world was free for every one to rebel and just live and let live. In peace, joy and happiness.
I now feel, If you do not like the way I dress or think. It is your loss not mine if you chose to leave me out of your circle. To me what counts in this life is how kind you are. If you care about others more than your self. If you want the best for others. To see them happy. I am judgmental when it comes to mean people. I do not see why they have to make sure some one else  has a bad day.  I chose to exclude people like this from my circle. As I feel the painful energy they throw out to the world. I would love it if they would learn to deprogram. But I except that they have the freedom to be the way they are. It is not my place to make them change. My mom is one who has so many rules. And she is full of judgment. But It is like the old saying you can not teach an old dog new tricks. But I have learned to accept her just the way she is. And go on with my life. I live life the way it feels right to me. And that is all that matters.

Live and let live.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.

Things can change

 I am so happy with myself now a days. I have been able to get quite a bit of work done to the house that I have not been able to do in a while. I now have The living room completely wired for cable and electric. And most of the drywall hung. So I will soon have a real living room. I am amazed to say I did it. I had help holding the top cuts of the dry wall. And took my time but to say I did it is a blessing. Sure it took 6 weeks to do what I use to do in less than one. But I did it. Time was not an issue. I only have been here 6 years. And have been in my lazy boy most of those years. But I feel free of depression and free of issues that use to cause me problems. I can now look at life with new eyes and say. " There are no problems just challenges to overcome." And it is all a choice. Chose happy or chose blaw blaw. When you put away judgements and learn to live and let live, Life is so much easier.
Wishing you all an awesome day.
Miss ya. Grammy E

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.