Why, Why, Why?

Why will my brain not shut up? I am back to torturing myself with thoughts. I should just be grateful that things are just fine. The house is warm. I have a roof over my head. I have a nice warm bed. I am some how drawn to tears rolling down my cheek for no reason. This is an inner pain crying in my brain. I want to say so many negative things. When I should just keep on track and be greatful!!
There is no more boo who poor me. I still spend my life in silence for the most part. I do a few youtub videos. I tried to do a funny one. I had uploaded it. I received a couple of comments. And pulled it down. My thought were. I should have never done it. It was not funny to all people. I titled it The redneck wife's hand book. But, it was not something I should have done. I do not know how to have fun or Joke any more. I spend my time playing games on fb again. Brain numbing games. Yes, I am saying a lot, with out saying anything,  I am back to wishing I had some one to take care of me. Like a MOM.

So sorry, This should have been a happy new year post. Because this will be a great year for us all. So many things to look forward to. So many sun rises and sets. Beautiful things in nature t look at. The joys of a kind word. A virtual or real hug. I send you my love and respect. All the best to you.