Update on life

I did the above graphic image on the 24th of Feb. It was a way of expressing how I was feeling at that time. I hit a new low. I allowed what was said and done to me take control of my mind. I failed to say stop. I went to war.
I did not even know I was venting anger at every one I encountered. I would say this was a new low for me.
But It lead to a new level of communication with my husband and family. I had to release my feeling. I had to cry. I did not know it but I was mean and loud also. I do not know every thing I did. As I though I was just speaking but apparently I was not nice. This is all new to me. I am not one to inflict harm on others. But rage is what I felt. I was at war. My mind went off the deep end. I allowed my self to become a victim. And it was no fun at all. My heart became cold. I had to say things like I need to leave. One way or another. My family was shocked. As I have never said such things before. But they were pushing me. They knew things needed to be done. But they had no ideal I was not capable of simple choice. They could not fathom the level I reached of doom and gloom. I had to call a doctor in St. Louis. He told me I was not insane. That probably 90% of people in America would have an issue with what I went through if they were in my shoes. But the difference in me was I went into overload. And could not function.
I have been broken before. And it seems if you do it again it gets worse. So I will work on taking control of my mind and life again. I will not withdraw farther. I will now fight. And regain my spirit. I am so thankful for all of your thoughts and prayers. I feel them at work in me as we speak. Big hug to all of you. My friends.

Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh and play.