Sunday, September 28, 2008

Exploding mind.

Wow, I think my mind is awake today. I am in the mood for input. Like a computer. Over my life time. I have had spurts of learn learn learn. RRRR. Today is one of them. Now it is like ideals just pouring into my brain. I have not felt like this in a while. In 2003 or 4 my husband and I were at a red light waiting. The light turned green and at the same time a police car was coming up beside us. My hubby had no choice but to stay put. But the car behind us stepped on the gas and poured right in the back of our s15 small truck. She picked us up in the rear and turned us sideways in the middle of the intersection. I hit my head on the back side then went up in the air to hit my head on top of roof. This was the start of me loosing my mind. I found that spelling a simple word like Illinois was no longer in my head. This word I wrote allot. As I was doing family tree research at the time. Next thing I found I could no longer make my hands do what I wanted them to do. I tried to install a plug on the out side of our house in St. Louis. I found I could not turn the screw. I could not hold the flap open. It took me forever to put the wire around the terminal. And turn the screw. I had to go in and get hubby to do it for me.
I have always learned to do things my self. It was very hard to say I can not do it.
Today I want to plan a hanging wall garden. I want to continue making this yard a Feng shui garden. I want to build a Zen garden to have a place to sit and think. I want to make a topiary out of a bush. These are just hopes and dreams. As I know my body may not cooperate. At this time it is hard to just do what I need to do. But I find I need to dream of a future . But only recently I have learned to live in the present time. I have learned to be content. But I still have hope. With out hope it is hard to be happy.
In St Louis this was my favorite seat. I sat in the yard and enjoyed nature and my plants.
I placed veggies among the flowers. My yard had balance. Pretty flowers with sustainable food. Here in this yard my wonderful glider sits among weeds and tall grass. My husband had Bypass surgery in Jan 2005. So he can no longer do as much as he could before. It is hard to use the gas weed whacker.And I do not use weed killer. I have use salt to kill weeds. But it would take a truck load for this. So we just pretend it is not there, as it is out of view. But there is rock under this glider. Next year I will lay down plastic and have more rock dumped on top. This will be my Zin garden. In another post I will tell you of my Feng shui garden if you want to here how to do it.
This is some of my hostas I brought from St. Louis to here.


Gail said...

A joy to read! I know I am not alone.

Wendy said...

I love your little garden around the tree. I also put "critters" around my trees, then bring them in the living room and put them behind sofas or under coffee tables to bring the outdoors in.

We seem to be going through a lot of the same things in life. I also dream of the future, but am learning to live in the present, and enjoy every day, whether it is a good day or a bad day.
Actually, somebody said "every day above ground is a good day". Her mother had died and she missed her terribly - even the bad days.
Light and Love

white_lilly said...

Everyone has hopes and dreams, some people achieve theirs sooner than others but it is the journey that we travel to achieve them. Your zen garden sounds wonderful and I love that seat I can see you resting there and taking in the beauty of what you have achieved.

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

What you need, sweetie, is a goat!
No weed killer, not hard labor...just natural weed eradication...and cute nose nuzzles from your goatie pal :)

I hope you keep your dream alive of having that beautiful Zen garden.

Best wishes :)


Carla said...

Bless you! I don't think I really appreciate what I have until it doesn't work. Thank you for the reminder! Sounds like your are firing on all cylinders! My bro says this is re-growth! I hope in your case it is. Your little hosta spot is zen to me:)